When Doves Cry
by SimplyMatt
Summary: Sequel to The Next Three Days. Has Emmett already lived through too much, been a slave to misery for too long? Can Carlisle be enough to made him hang on, or is it time for Emmett to say goodbye?
1. And On The Third Day

**Hey Everyone!**

**So after writing my very first Fan Fiction, The Next Three Days, I was asked by a lot of people what happened next, and above all, is Emmett dead? Well I always wanted to write a reply, but I had to wait until the boys called to the again, and now they have.**

**Yes this is a sequel, but you can still read it if you have not read THTD, but it may help if you do.**

**Thanks so much to my pre readers, Loopylou998, Nmydreamz and Twilight mum69, and my Beta Mrs. Aggett.**

**I do not own, I only play.**

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**And On The Third Day…**

**Carlisle**

Everything was going so right, moving its way forward so perfectly! I had bided my time and waited in the wings until he was due to leave the clinic before I attempted to ask him out. Well, actually, he asked me, but it was to be the start of a happiness I wanted us to share; one I knew he was ready for.

That is a happiness I now fear will be nothing more than fantasy, playing out in my mind, in the darkest recesses of my own imagination. I, Carlisle Cullen, living the perfect rendition of a happy life in my head with the man I want, with the man who _wasn't_ taken so easily from me after just a few short days. Only in my head is everything so perfect; the way it should be.

How can everything start out so right then turn to shit in one breath?

**Day one:** He took those first mighty steps into the bustle of London life, carrying with him our arrangement to meet for coffee as he made his way to his new flat, his new life, as he put his past behind him. He was well on his way to recovery.

That was when I felt it. It was the start of something great, the building of something new, the deep foundations to build our happy relationship upon.

We could have had it all!

Everything was ours for the taking.

We just didn't know that fate had other ideas and that a cloud was moving in to lay dormant above our heads.

**Day two:** The date was such sweet perfection! Never before had coffee tasted so good, as I watched him take his first sip. He, my Emmett, sat there in his first coffee house after his brutal ordeal and months of therapy. Yet there he was, opposite me, drinking his first hazelnut latte; it was our favorite drink.

We were both nervous, but I would never go back. I would never change anything about that perfect afternoon. We drank so much coffee I thought we would burst, but he wanted to taste all he had missed out on. Who was I to deny him?

He was the boy who had to grow up too fast, to be pulled into a world of a sick man's sexual fantasy as his uncle used him for his own pleasure. The poor boy that first appeared to me soaked to the bone from the rain and stripped of all his innocence before he was rescued from that life and brought to Dr**.** Esme Platt's clinic. He was the boy I should only have seen as a patient, but my heart had other ideas as it yearned for him.

That night he showed me his scars, the ones he kept hidden under layers of clothing. His body was covered with the work he did with a blade, trying to numb the pain that _they _caused; the pain they inflicted upon a child! His body was a work of horrific art - scars they branded upon him before he took up hurting himself... to take back a little control of his body.

I wanted to kiss every scar, take an eraser and rub them from his body, hold him in my arms, and let him know that it was all going to be okay. I wanted him to feel love...finally!

My heart did its own little dance in my chest when he asked me to spend the night, to sleep and nothing more, to fall into each others arms into a deep, perfect slumber.

I knew I was becoming infatuated with him. My mind and heart were running his name through my body at record speed.

I just never expected it all to go so wrong.

**Day three: **My regret! My biggest mistake was the result of a small error on my part. I left him asleep in his bed while I went shopping to buy treats, fueled by the idea that this was what he would want. Me, stupid little rich boy, wanting to spoil a guy who asked for nothing! I should have stayed in bed and had him awaken in my arms like he expected.

So, this is all _my_ fault!

I accept that I am the cause of what happened!

I may as well have stabbed him myself: stuck my blade into his already tainted skin and threw him around the room like a ragdoll, decorating the flat with his blood.

Yes, his uncle had been the one who attacked him, but if I had been there, maybe things would have worked out differently. I could have tried to intervene, become the human shield, and take a blow for him. I could have stopped him from having to feel more pain.

All my fault!

So here I am, waiting in A & E, not knowing if he is alive or..._dead_!

Dead!

The thought terrifies me!

I could maybe start to forgive myself if he wakes up and if he tells me it's _not_ my fault. If he dies, then I know there will be no coming back from that; I will die with him.

My Emmett! The innocent man I should be with now, holding him in my arms as we plan out our day: a walk in the park, a movie, or just sitting in perfect silence gazing into each others eyes. He shouldn't be here while I am pacing back and forth, still covered in his blood... the blood that I had tried to stop gushing out of him that now covers my arms and clothes.

Let him be okay..._please_!

The ambulance rushed us here and I sat in the back, watching in horror, as the paramedic worked on the unconscious boy. Never once did he awaken; not a groan nor a murmur as the young paramedic called out his name over and over.

_Come back, Emmett! Please come back! Stay with me!_

I pleaded the words in my head on a constant loop, begging for him to hear my thoughts as I sat just staring, feeling completely useless.

When we got stuck in traffic I panicked, wanting to scream for the cars and vans to part like waves at my command so we could get him to safety as soon as we could, every second counting. Even though we arrived without much delay, I still had the words repeating in my head, killing me from within. I followed _my_ Emmett on the stretcher as he was wheeled into the hospital, only to be stopped from going any further by the double doors they took him through.

I was left alone, being told nothing about the state of the man I only wanted to love.

_Family only!_

They kept telling me those two simple words, but couldn't they see that he has nobody now and that everyone else in the world has left him or hurt him? The only one here...is me!

They told me the same crap over and over, not caring that he had no family. The only name I was able to give them to call, to help in this situation, was Dr. Esme Platt - the only person he ever opened up to.

So here I am, still pacing back and forth as his blood dries on my hands and clothes. I don't want to clean up, to wash him away while I am covered in him. I don't want the water to wash him from me like he means nothing, because he isn't...nothing!

Not to me!

Emmett McCarty is perfect!

**xOx**

"I am sorry, Mr. Cullen, but I can't tell you anything other than he is out of the theatre. I can only give information to his family or next of kin." The red headed doctor stands before me, thinking her small words will appease my breaking heart.

"Please, Dr. Finnigan. He has no family and no next of kin..._please_!" I am literally on my knees, begging the young female doctor as she follows her procedure. As my tears fall, I don't stop them or wipe them away. These are _his_ tears, heartfelt tears I am allowing to fall for him. "C...can I see him?"

I watch as she hesitates, racking her brain for a way to help me and allow me to be able to see my friend.

She takes a deep inhale of breath before speaking, her eyes watching me with concern.

"Let me see what I can do, but I am not promising anything." She smiles slightly before making her way back behind the doors I so desperately want to burst through, the ones that will lead me to my broken man.

It's then that I hear it, the familiar sound of heels tapping on the cold, tiled floor. I know that sound; I've heard it every day for years.

_Esme!_

I turn my head in the direction of the oncoming steps to see Dr. Esme Platt, who is looking around aimlessly, dressed in an evening gown, clear evidence that she had plans.

It's evening already?

I have lost all sense of time!

Her gaze finally settles on mine, her eyes widening in shock as she takes me in. She hurries over to where I am and pulls me into her embrace.

It was enough for me to open up my own Niagara Falls down my face.

As her arms envelop me, my tears become the floods of the raging waterfall, followed by sobs as I bury my head into her neck. I hold onto the woman I trust entirely, my boss turned friend, my tears falling onto her neck. She doesn't care. She just holds me for as long as I need to be held.

A grown man crying in A & E isn't the norm, I assume. I just don't care, not now.

"It's going to be okay, Carlisle," she says, gently stroking my head before she addresses someone behind me. Dr. Finnigan has come back. "Hi, my name is Dr. Esme Platt and I am legally responsible for Emmett McCarty. How is he?"

With my sobbing face still in her neck, I can feel the exchange of papers, aware of a small pause before Dr. Finnigan speaks.

"This all seems to be in order. If you would like to follow me, I will give you an update on his condition."

"Here is fine. I think it's best to get through this quickly so I can see my patient," Esme tells her.

I can sense the unease in Dr. Finnigan's voice as she tells us of Emmett's condition, surrounded by other people waiting to see a doctor.

"We have moved him to one of the recovery rooms. He made it through the operation, but now it's just a waiting game."

What?

Waiting game?

I pull away from Esme and address the doctor.

"You mean he might..._die?_" My voice is barely audible on the last word.

Dr. Finnigan looks from Esme to myself before she proceeds.

"Mr. McCarty suffered severe knife wounds - three to the stomach, one to the throat, and two in his back." My body starts to shake as she goes over everything, finally enlightening me as to what happened. "We managed to stop the bleeding, but he lost so much blood that we are not sure yet if he will pull through. We are giving him a blood transfusion to replace what he lost, and we are hopeful he will make a full recovery." She tries to sound positive, but I feel my feet buckling and lean onto Esme for support.

"When can we see him?" Esme asks, pain evident in her voice.

Dr. Finnigan shifts uncomfortably on her feet before proceeding.

"I am...afraid we are unable to allow Mr. Cullen access to my patient," she says.

What?

Why?

I can feel Esme tense as I grip onto her body.

"Well_ I _can allow it. As legal guardian, I have the authorisation!" she snaps.

I follow Dr. Finnigan's gaze as it moves past us to fall upon two approaching policemen.

Policemen?

"E...Esme?" I stammer, as the two men arrive at where we stand.

"Carlisle Cullen?" the older of the two men ask, and I find myself nodding. "I am PC Black, and this is PC Newton. We need to ask you a few questions regarding the attack on one Emmett McCarty."

They want to question.._.me?_

I stare at them dumbfounded, but it's Esme who speaks.

"Don't be so _ridiculous_! Why would you possibly need to speak with Carlisle? He had nothing to do with this," she snaps, clearly not caring that they are the police.

"Madam, we merely..." PC Newton says, before Esme interrupts him.

"_Dr. Esme Platt!"_ she barks.

"Apologies, Dr. Platt, but we merely have some questions for Mr. Cullen here, so we can start to sort all this mess out. Can we have a room, please?" he asks, addressing Dr. Finnigan.

"Of course, this way please," she replies.

So this is it?

Do they think that I could...that I would?

Could I really have that inside me, to hurt the man that I know I love?

I follow them as we are led into a small room to be questioned, for me to try and convince these men that I did nothing other than hold him as his heart beat slowed.

I am normally a patient person**.** I can remain calm in a stressful situation, but as I sit in the small room with Esme and the two policemen, all I want to do is scream at them to let me go to him.

He needs to know that someone is there who cares and that he isn't going to always be alone.

_Hang on, Emmett. Please stay with me!_

I shift uncomfortably in my seat as I answer their mundane questions. I know they need the information, as I arrived immediately after the heinous crime, but it all seems so pointless right now when Emmett needs a hand to hold, a voice to follow back to the waking world.

I need to hold his hand.

_What were you doing there?_

_How long have you both been friends?_

_Why did you leave the flat in the first place?_

They're all such stupid questions... everything that could wait until another day...right?

"So, to clarify, you left Mr. McCarty's flat before he woke to buy breakfast for the two of you, then returned, bumping into someone you thought to be his uncle, before finding his body?" PC Black recaps.

"Yes," I sigh, looking at my blood stained hands that have now dried and cracked.

I can no longer see my pale skin below the vast amount of his red blood that covers me. I can feel fresh tears burning down my face as I think of him laying in the pool of all that red, his face still smiling back at me as his body slowly shut down.

"Why didn't you wait until he woke up before leaving? Go together?" He continues to probe.

This is a question that has run through my mind since I got in the ambulance, spreading its plague within me as it slowly devoured everything I am. Had I stayed, I could have been there to wrap him in my arms as I became the barrier of his protection from his uncle. Things would have been different had I not wanted to shower him with my wealth, becoming the Carlisle Cullen I had tried to avoid. Yet I allowed pride to get the better of me, leading to where we are now.

Will I ever learn?

_Stupid, stupid Carlisle! You should be laying on your deathbed, not him!_

"Look. Shouldn't you be out looking for Emmett's uncle? Given his violent history towards his nephew and Carlisle's squeaky clean reputation, common sense would dictate that your time would be better served there!" Esme declares, becoming infuriated with their line of questioning.

PC Newton smiles respectfully at her. "Just trying to get some details together. Mr. Cullen was the one found over Mr. McCarty's body, so we have to ask our questions to cross him off of our suspect lists," he informs her.

I watch as Esme folds her arms, glaring at the two men as she stands and looks down at them.

"How ridiculous! Carlisle already told you that he went shopping, so receipts will be in his bags, and I am sure you are aware that they have the time and date of purchase on them. You can also use these magical pieces of paper to lead you to the shops and _confirm_ what Carlisle tells you," she says coldly.

I watch as PC Black catches his colleague's arm to stop him from falling into an argument with Esme, one that I know she would relish in, and win. "We will be in touch once we confirm your story, Mr. Cullen," he says, before they both finally leave.

Esme turns to me, relaxing finally as she takes my Emmett-covered hands in hers.

"Carlisle, it will all be okay. I will go check if we can see him, but you need to go clean up, baby. You don't want him seeing you like this."

So I do.

I find a bathroom and turn on the tap to its hottest setting before I allow the water to burn away his blood, staining the basin red as my hands become clean again. I still have blood on my clothes, but Esme told me she had that part sorted. I don't care enough to question her; my appearance matters very little to me right now.

I stare at my pale reflection in the mirror. I'm a shadow of the man I once was, my smile no longer present. My face is lost of all my normal expressions. Now I just look numb and deflated, but in a few moments I will be seeing him again and holding the hand of the man I want.

I just hope he will come back soon.

Dr. Finnigan leads us through the doors that I wanted to destroy, the ones they refused to let me pass, telling us there is still no change. She says that the next few hours are crucial, and that if he doesn't come round, then...

I close myself off from the conversation as we arrive at the room they have him in. As the door opens and Dr. Finnigan and Esme walk through, I find myself freezing in place.

I can't!

How can I enter a room where he may still die?

**Emmett**

No sound is around me as I stand in this black place, a blackness that seems to never end, seeing only a beacon in the near distance that is getting closer and brighter by the second.

I look down at myself and see that I am naked, my body now scarless! This is the body I should have had, not the playground for their violence and my painful relief.

I look up at the beacon again, its glow radiating around me as it fills the once blackened place with a guiding light.

Happiness is within that light - a blissful end to all the suffering and pain my adolescence was filled with. I turn my head back into the blackness behind me, the cloud that shadowed every minute and every hour of my days.

So this is the end? My life stops here?

I turn back towards the welcoming beam.

So be it!

I step forward into the glow, my body filling with heat and love.

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**Eeeep!**

**So what did you think? This will be a multi chapter and I have NO IDEA how many chapters as I am still writing. I hope to update as often as I can, but I don't want to rush this and I still have other WIP I am doing, so please bare with me.**


	2. We Should Of Had It All

**So love the reviews you are all leaving. I'm glad you like this story.**

**Thanks to my pre readers Twilight Mum69 and Nmydreamz, and my beta Mrs. Agget.**

**All I own is this plot, nothing more.**

**Now, it's over to the boys.**

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**Emmett**

The glow washes over me with each step I take, baking me in its love, its warmth, but mainly...its forgiveness! Everything I allowed to happen to me in my life is pulling from my body, burning away with the warm heat from this glorious beam.

If this is the end, the walk that takes me to the beyond, then where is the life flashing before my eyes? There is none of that, not like people say there is, how they say to stay away from the light. It makes no sense. Why would I _not_ go into it? This light that just seems so welcoming, so intoxicating, and so right pulls me forward and I do not fight it. It is here for me, to take me on the journey I need, to whisk me away from all the crap that I have lived through.

I have had only nineteen short years in my life, and very few of these even gave an ounce of what is radiating through me right now. This light is blessing me as I stand a short distance from the beacon, forgiving me of all I had allowed my uncle to do to me and all the times I had fallen to my knees for him; to become the object of his...

I never thought I would feel this warmth again, not in the dark shadows that clouded my existence. I turn my head one last time towards my hate filled life, to the small amount of darkness that still lingers here, slowly becoming consumed by the light.

_Take it. Take it all from me and let me have the ultimate escape._

It's at that moment I see him...

It's the caring guy from the clinic, the one that gave me three perfect days that made me feel special again. Three deliriously happy days I would never replace. He gave me so much and asked for so little in return. He was so unlike my uncle, didn't force me to do anything I wasn't ready for; he just held me like I needed to be held, like I had never been held before.

Without telling my feet to move, I can feel them turning back towards him, towards the beautifully kind man with the perfect face. I want to be with him again, to feel his arms over my body. I want him to ghost his touch over my scars and not care how tarnished my body is. He knows, yet does not care what I did with my uncle and his friends; he just accepts me so easily.

Carlisle Cullen, the man who managed to make my heart beat again.

Then I hear that laugh coming from the dark, the bitter face of my uncle festering into view, freezing me in place.

No!

I can't go back, not to a world with such hate pointing its finger at me and ripping me apart as it breaks me down to nothing.

As much as I want to be with Carlisle again, to mould my lips over his and sleep against him, I know I can't.

I wish I could...but I can't!

I am just so tired of fighting to move on from my past.

Even if we started to be happy, the plague that is the darkness that follows my every waking moment would only eventually start to eat at him**,** too. What if Charlie did to him what he did to me so many times, leaving his mark all over my body and never caring as long as he got what he wanted. I could never allow Carlisle to experience what I had lived through. I never want to see tears fall from his eyes like the streams that poured from mine. Never!

I turn back to the light, walking towards the beacon as I allow my tears to finally fall.

_I am so sorry, Carlisle!_

_I love you!_

_I just hope you can understand why I can't stay!_

_Goodbye. You're the only man I know I will ever love._

**Carlisle**

Esme takes me by the hand and leads me into the eerie, silent room. The beep of the monitors are the only soundtrack in his dark cell. These are the machines that will warn us if he...

No! I cannot allow myself to think that way, not about him, the perfect boy who is in this room because of me!

I walk slowly to the bed that holds his unconscious body, just making it to a chair before collapsing into it. I nervously take his hand in mine as my sore and swollen eyes burst forth with even more tears. Will my tear ducts never empty? My eyes are killing me, but I will not allow the pain to stop them from falling, not when he is laying here because of me!

As I look at him now, I am reminded of his once blood covered body. I can't shake the image of him smiling up at me as so much of his blood ran from him. My arms burn with the memory of them holding him as his heart began to slow to a faint beat, his eyes eventually closing as the paramedics came to his aid.

_Please don't let it be too late._

I hold his hand gently at first, like I am holding delicate glass that will crumble under the pressure of even the most tender touch. I watch his chest rise and fall on the bed, his neck and body covered in bandages, covering the new details to his already heavily scared frame. I want to take my lips and gently kiss them to make them better like my mum used to do to me as a small child. I want to take his place for once and take his hurt from him. If I had to...I would die for him!

Right now, without question, I would lay my life down for this man. He is a perfect soul that did nothing but want to be loved, yet was forever shown nothing but aversion.

_For you, Emmett, only you!_

Esme gently rubs my shoulder and I can hear her gentle sobs for her patient, her friend, the boy dancing through the limbo of life or death. I want to dance that dance for him, even with him if I could. I want us to dance as ghosts through the world, needing only each other.

It's just too soon for him; he is still but a child in the world, still yet to make a life of his own.

_Choose life, Emmett! Please come back to me...please!_

I don't know if he can hear my thoughts, but I don't think my voice could manage to say what's in my head.

_Please come back to me...to us!_

_We need you!_

"He will be okay, I am...sure." Esme tries to fill me with confidence I know she doesn't even believe herself.

She sits next to me, rubbing my back as she gently strokes his leg above the sheet. The woman who says she doesn't have it in her to be a mother is now looking at the boy she helped like he was her own blood, her perfect face leaking sad tears.

I have never seen Esme cry, not once.

_See, Emmett? See how much we need you to hang in there? Please baby, please come back._

"I...wonder what...he is...thinking," I say, my voice giving away the fact that my body is breaking.

Esme squeezes my shoulder slightly before talking.

"I am sure he is fighting to get through this. He is strong, Carlisle. Remember that," she reassures me.

She is right. I know she is, but somehow I find myself doubting that he may not have finally given up. Was this the last straw? Did this final act destroy the healing journey he had just begun - his slow walk down the road back to normality?

Has Emmett finally stopped fighting?

If he has, can I blame him?

Can I really be angry that he has given up trying to fight for a life that just seems to throw so much hurt and shit his way?

What did he ever do to deserve to lose both of his parents, then become the sex slave to his uncle? He was just a boy, a small innocent boy, yet he had to suffer through so much.

No. I could never be angry, but I just hope he stays.

_Please come back to me. I will never hurt you like he did._

My words are selfish, but my heart and soul need him to return so I can show him what it really means to feel loved.

We spend the next hour in silence, neither of us talking as we hold onto Emmett, willing him to hang in there. Stay with us...with _me_! I can't take my eyes off of him, his peaceful face, seeing how calm he now appears...like he is finally where he wants to be.

Is he finally saying a farewell to his life?

Will I never see that radiant smile of his again?

I grip his hand as I close my eyes, pulling him into my fantasy of where we should be and how we should be spending today. Not here, in this place of sickness and death!

In my fantasy, there is no pain. I arrived at his flat the way I should have, arms loaded with the gifts I bought him: the flowers, bear, and coffee. He greets me with that magnanimous smile of his as he walks towards me, still in his joggers, not caring about his scars, knowing I don't care about his past.

He pulls me into his gentle embrace, as we gaze into each others eyes. The bags and coffee are discarded, suddenly no longer important. He pulls our faces together, nose touching nose, and I watch as his eyes pull into a smile as we giggle at each other. His sparkling blue eyes blink at me as we stand before one another, just smiling our smiles, hands on each other's waists, needing nothing more.

That is how I should have found him, not lying in a pool of his own...

A knock at the door startles me, pulling me back to the realisation that I am still in a room with Esme, with no change to Emmett's situation.

In unison, we pull our heads to face the door, and my jaw falls open at the unexpected guests. It's my two older sisters!

Alice, older than me by a year, runs towards me as I stand, and locks her arms around my neck. I close my eyes as I allow her love to fuse into me, giving me a small amount of strength. I inhale her scent deeply, her familiar aroma of lavender, and I can feel myself begin to relax. She always had a way to help me calm down, to pull me back to normality when things tried to pull me away.

I look past Alice, to my older sister of five years, Rosalie. Unlike Alice, Rosalie isn't in a rush to comfort me. She's clearly uneasy at being in a NHS hospital, and not the private ones our family favour. She offers me one of her legendary smirks, believing that smiling will cause wrinkles.

I turn my attention back to my loving sister, who has now pulled away to greet Esme.

"Dr. Platt, it's nice to see you again. So sorry it's under these circumstances," Alice's ever polite voice respectfully greets Esme.

"Always a pleasure, Alice dear, but as I keep telling you, please call me Esme." Both women look at each other fondly until a deep sigh fills the room.

Esme turns her eyes to Rosalie, all fondness gone as the two women look at each other with disdain.

"Rosie, _darling_, always a pleasure," Esme snarls, using the name she knows my sister hates.

These two never have gotten along. Esme refuses to suck up to my sister, the one who thinks the world revolves around her, and she hates that Esme doesn't do as she insists.

Blatantly ignoring her, Rosalie looks past Esme as she talks to Alice.

"Can we go already?" She moans.

Great!

Why did she even bother to come?

She never cared about me before, so why now?

Alice, still looking at me, sighs as she rolls her eyes but keeps the smile on her face.

"We only just arrived, Rosalie. Let me at least make sure our baby brother is okay," she says, stroking my cheek gently, her eyes looking all over my face to make sure I am okay.

Rosalie huffs loudly and Esme becomes our saviour.

"Rosie, sweetie, let's go grab some coffee while Alice and Carlisle catch up," she says, linking arms with my sister and taking her from the room.

"Oh, I would kill for a freshly ground African bean," I hear Rosalie say before the door closes.

My eyes meet with Alice and we pause for a moment before bursting into laughter, picturing the look on our sister's face when she is handed instant coffee in a plastic cup.

We sit back down next to each other, and she squeezes my hand.

"How did you get Rosalie to come?" I ask, knowing Alice must have somehow tricked her.

I watch as her smile stretches, grinning happily to herself as she tells me what she did.

"Let's just say I called in a favour," she winks.

"Oh?" I asked, puzzled.

"Well, I promised not to tell father that I caught her on his pool table with the pool boy, Seth, between her legs!"

For the second time today, I laugh, a real belly laugh, at my sister's devious ploy, and at my other sister literally caught with her pants down fucking the help! That's not something anyone would ever have expected of the perfect Rosalie Cullen!

Alice's gaze finally goes to the bed, reminding me why we are here.

_I forgot! Emmett, baby, I am so sorry!_

"Going to introduce me?" She asks.

I gulp as I struggle to get my words out.

"Alice, this is E...E...Emme...tt!" I splutter.

How could I forget, for even a moment, why we are here?

I fall into my sisters loving arms, basking in the love she has for me as she holds me close like she always had. Alice was like a second mother to me growing up. Our parents traveled a lot so she was the perfect substitute for a mother's love. She was always the one I ran to if I was upset,and the one I poured my heart out to. She never refused her baby brother.

"It's very nice to meet you, Emmett," she says, talking as if he is awake and sitting up.

Somehow, a part of me waited for him to reply.

If only he would.

**Emmett**

I am at the archway, blinded by the beam of light flowing from it as I prepare to make my way through. The time is here, to move to the fields of my own heaven - the fields that dreams are made of.

I am ready.

A few small steps remain until I leave my life behind for good. I just hope there is a heaven and a place for me to finally rest.

Don't I deserve that?

Hell wouldn't have such a welcoming glow like this. No love would be beaming on me if this was the gates of hell, right?

Then again, I have lived my hell and already suffered at its hand. So, can hell really be any scarier than what I lived through each and every day?

Charlie's face flashes before my eyes again but I smile this time. I smile at the man who tortured me all those years, the man who finally killed me.

If this is hell, the place for evil, then I'll see you soon, Uncle Charlie. See you damn fucking soon!

I will bide my time in the fires of hell if I have to, and wait for his eventual arrival, then I will show him what it really means to feel hurt. I will take the pain that hell has to offer me and I will throw it all into him when I see him down there.

This is it then, the end of the line. Just a few more steps into the light and I will be able to see the bittersweet end.

I move my feet forward a few steps before hitting an invisible barrier. I run my hands in front of me, feeling out that which is blocking me, and it's a warm barrier that I can find no way through.

_What's happening?_

Something is stopping me from taking the final step, the one I am ready to take...but why?

"Can't you see, baby? It's not your time yet."

That voice!

It can't be!

I turn slowly, my eyes settling on the two people I have wanted to see for so long.

"Come here, son."

**Carlisle**

I watch as Alice takes Emmett's hand, talking away like they are old friends. She's not caring that he can't reply as she talks about our summer home in France and how she must take him there to get his strength back.

That is a happy thought. The image makes me smile enough that if I was covered in fairy dust, I would be floating to the ceiling like the children in Peter Pan. Emmett would love our home in France, out in the country and away from the city. We could watch the sun rise and fall, holding each other as we sit out on the lawn, eating French bread and cheese, caring for nothing more than each other.

_I will take you there, baby. I will. You just have to come back to me first._

Suddenly, she pulls away gasping with her hands at her mouth.

"Alice?"

She looks to me in disbelief, then looks back to Emmett still lying on the bed.

What happened?

What made my sister jump so much?

I turn back towards Alice to question her, but she is already finding her voice.

"His hand...it just moved!"

I look back at Emmett, searching for a sign of life.

Was it true?

Did he indeed move?

"Emmett?"

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**AN - Well, what did you think? Let me know your thoughts xxx**


	3. Choices Must Be Made

**Loving the reviews, guys. Thanks so much for keeping with this for me. This is one I adore to write as it is inspired from my first fanfic and because my readers wanted more.**

**Thanks to my pre reader Nmydreamz and Twilight mum69 and my beta Mrs. Agget.**

**SPECIAL thanks to Nmydreamz for keeping me on track with this. She remembers TNTD a lot better than I do so she tells me if I slip up in plot, and helps make this perfect. Without her, I doubt it would be as great.**

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**Emmett**

Are my eyes deceiving me?

Is my mind playing tricks on me?

I look at the images of my parents before me, solid impressions of the two people that raised me, that loved me like no other. I watch as they both smile, and I am suddenly confident that they are, in fact, real.

A small whimper leaves my lips as I stand before them, my mother and father here to lead me into the light. At least I won't have to take the steps alone.

They still look exactly as I remember, how they were when they left for the party. Both are still adorned in the outfits they bought for the evening, my mother in her sparkling blue evening dress, and my father in his best grey suit. I didn't realise how much I look like my father. His tall masculine frame is the perfect reflection of mine. I have his dark brown hair; short and off the face, a style similar to how I keep my own. The only trait I didn't get from him were his eyes. The sparkling sapphires that my mother and I share are now looking to me through her long, light brown hair.

I have missed them so much, and now here they are, looking like they just returned from the party. This is how that night should have ended, not the knock on the door from the policemen disturbing my little slumber party.

I now know that I am definitely staying _here_. This is the place I want to be...with them.

Why would I even think of going back, when I finally have the two people who love me right here?

"Because it's not your time, son," my father says, interrupting my thoughts.

I stand in disbelief as I watch my parents walk towards me, a gentle smile on their faces as they come to meet the child they left behind. The child that is now a man, the boy who lost so many years with his doting parents.

If only I could turn back time.

"My baby," my mother says, reaching out to take me in her arms.

My whole body tingles under her touch. This is the embrace I have missed, the only set of arms a person really feels safe in, the embrace only a mother can give. Her touch sends a once forgotten feeling throughout my body as my skin finally meets with that of the woman who sang me to sleep every night, the woman who loved me without hesitation. My mother, the only woman I _ever_ loved, the heroine in the eyes of a child.

"M...Mummy..." I whimper, falling into the arms I have wanted to feel again for so long, her embrace no longer a distant memory that was fading like an old photograph. "I missed you."

I know I am sobbing, but they are sweet tears of joy that I am finally back with the two people who understand me more than anyone else, the only people who ever helped me feel love. As I feel my father's arms envelop me, I know I can never go back, never turn from them again.

Here is where I stand. Here is where I will remain...with them.

"We never left you, son, not really," my father says, pulling my head into him so that he can grace me with a kiss to my cheek.

I pull him into our hug, to show them both how right it is that I am here with them, how right it would be to walk through the afterlife as a family. I feel a sense of belonging here with their familiar arms around me and the fatherly kiss on my cheek. Charlie can't get to me now. He can't touch me anymore; maybe he did me a favour.

Did I have to suffer so much to be worthy of this release, to be able to see my parents again? Maybe after they were taken, my life had become a test, one I had to pass to be able to see them again. Although, I seriously doubt that not checking who you allow into your flat before opening the door is really a test...only stupidity!

Whatever!

This light has to led to heaven, my spiritual utopia, where I will rest with my parents. I am ready to step into my perfect end.

"No, Emmett darling, you have to go back, my baby," my mother tells me, pulling my face to look into her eyes.

Why is she saying this?

Why would I ever want to go back when I can remain here with them, to look as angelic as they both do, so perfect? My body is no longer the canvas of a failed artist. My skin is as perfect as it should be. Theirs has a sparkle to it, how light reflects off of diamonds, moonlight off of the sea. I want to look like them. I never want to leave them!

I smile, shaking my head at my family, letting them know I have made my choice. I am staying. I am not going back into the darkness, ever again.

Before I can speak to tell them of my intention, my mother's hand is over my mouth to silence me. I inhale her nostalgic scent, the familiar fragrance of Chanel No. 5 that she always wore. That scent is one I have always missed and one that never smelled as perfect on anyone else.

"Now Emmett, you must listen to me. It is not your time yet. We came here to tell you that you must go back and live the life we always wanted for you." I hear her words, but I throw them from me.

I can never go back, not to a place where misery seems fixated on consuming me.

Why do they want me to go? Shouldn't they be happy I am here?

"Don't...you...want me...to stay with you?" I ask, my happy tears now burning into my skin.

"Of course we do, son," my father says. "We just want to wait until the time is right for _you_, not when that so-called brother of mine decides." I sense the anger in his voice, the pain of knowing his own blood caused this to happen.

Can't they see that for me to go back is wrong on so many levels, that I will just be returning further into misery? I have nothing back there, yet waiting for me on this side will be sweet perfection, everything I want and need.

I want to forget my life and look to my death; look at it as my final step towards a happiness I can finally have. On this side I will see everything I have missed. My parents, lost grandparents, pets that died too soon... _everything_ is inside the light. Nothing I want is in the darkness...nothing!

"I am never going back!" I tell them, the stubborn inner child waking up within me. "I have nothing back there!"

It's true. I don't, so why should I even play with the notion of returning to my own living hell?

"And what about Carlisle?"

My mother's words make my heart skip a beat at the thought of him, the only real bright spot in my life. Is it enough, though? Is Carlisle Cullen going to be enough of an anchor to help me want to stay on the earthly planet?

He is like no other person I know. He is so forgiving and accepts people so easily, but is he enough?

I used to take a blade to my body to make my own marks, the ones my uncle had no control over, to take the pain of my abuse away. I even went so far as to cut too deep, to feel my blood pouring from me and not caring as I tore into my wrist, trying to repeat the action on my other and failing. Will I not trust myself and attempt to do this again, to force myself back to the light, to see my parents once more? I don't have the strength to keep fighting, and I sure as hell cannot allow Carlisle to give me a reason to live.

I don't want to live!

I want to step into my heaven to be with the two people who need me.

"He is...better off without me," I say, knowing that I am speaking from my head, not allowing my heart to have a say.

I ignore the yearning in my chest that is calling to him, the want to be with him again. I simply cannot allow my heart to lead me back there. I am not strong enough.

My mother's hand glides over my cheek, catching a tear.

"Don't say that, my baby. Can't you see that maybe he needs you too and that if you stay here you will be breaking his heart?"

What?

I never thought of it that way. I never knew that he may feel so strongly for me that if I _do _stay here, the black cloud that was over me will just find another home...over Carlisle!

No!

Not him. Not the man who did nothing but give me three days of happiness, that held me so close as I slept, that chased away the bad dreams. I don't deserve a man like him, but he really doesn't deserve for the darkness to engulf him as it had me.

Nobody, especially one as charismatic as he, should have to go through what I did, to be a dancer in the dark as misery came calling.

I look back into the darkness, which is now just a small portal that is looking into the hospital room where I lay on the bed, with Carlisle and a woman I do not know sat beside me.

"See how much he doesn't want you to go, son?" My father asks me. "He is waiting for you."

Waiting...for _me_?

Since the day I entered the clinic, he always seemed to be there. He never left my side and never once turned from me. He continually sat there just waiting for me. I never realized he was just a volunteer. I thought he was merely doing his job, doing what Dr. Platt paid him to do...yet here he is once again, at my side, waiting..._willingly_...because he honestly cares for me - not because it's his _duty_.

The woman has her arm around him as she takes my hand in hers, chatting away as if I was awake. I find myself smiling at the girl with short dark hair, as she holds onto Carlisle lovingly.

"Who is she?" I find myself asking a question that I assumed was just a thought.

"That, baby, is his sister, Alice Cullen. Alice is a very sweet girl, nothing like her sister. She wants to meet you," my mother says.

How does she know who this Alice is, let alone that she is Carlisle's sister?

"What? Did you think we wouldn't be checking in on him, too, to make sure he is good enough for our baby?" My mother continues, seeing the look of confusion on my face. "Esme is there too; she just went to get coffee."

Dr. Platt is there?

Why are so many people waiting for me, staying at _my_ bedside? Even my doctor is there without getting payment? Did she really care for me like she made me believe?

Will there be light inside my darkness?

The shadowy portal vibrates slightly, shrinking even more. Very soon it will be too small for me to go back and my choice will be made for me.

What do I do? Which choice do I make?

Should I stay or should I go?

Only moments ago I was so certain, but now, as I watch the scene in the room that houses my body, I am just so unsure.

What should I do?

I can feel my heart pulling me in one direction as my head fights to pull me in another.

I need to decide, to make a choice before it's too late.

I look into the faces of my parents as they smile at me, then back into the room at the man who cares.

Won't someone tell me what to do?

**Carlisle**

"I felt it. He really did move!" Alice says excitedly. "Emmett, sweetie?"

She leans into him, blocking me slightly as she tries to pull him back with her voice, like she is his friend and not the sister of his...well, I don't actually know what I am. We never really got that far.

I move in closer, taking his hand from hers as she steps back willingly to allow me to lean over him. I look into his face. His features remain as they were before my sister felt him move.

_Show me something, baby, some sign that you are here._

"Emmett? It's...me...Carlisle! Emm, can you hear me?" I am hanging onto the hope that he is close to rousing, a breath away from coming back to me.

_Please, Emmett!_

His hand is motionless in mine, with no sign of movement. I tighten my grip slightly, hoping he can feel that I am indeed here, waiting for him, wanting him to return, and praying he will come back to me. I smooth his dark hair from his face, hoping that he will answer to my touch, that my skin on his will be the light in the darkness for him to follow.

"Emmett, I...need you!" Alice wraps her arm around my shoulder, trying to reassure me it will be okay and that he will come back.

He isn't moving for me, not like he did for her!

Why?

Doesn't he want to see me again?

I turn to my sister, falling into her embrace, allowing her to give my weakened state the strength it craves.

"It's okay, baby. Everything will be okay," she tells me, reaching up to run her hands through my hair. "I will get Daddy to arrange to relocate him to Wellington Hospital as soon as he can be moved."

I don't reply, but I silently agree that as soon as he is able, he should be moved, to get him the care he needs and the attention he deserves.

"Thank you, sis," I tell her finally, pulling her into my body to accentuate the hug, to feel a little closer...to someone.

We stand there just holding each other, listening to the gentle hum of the machines, our only music.

I look at the heart rate monitor, watching as it tracks the beats of his heart, hoping with every part of me that it will never stop and that it will keep him with me.

I hear the approach of Esme and Rosalie returning to the room. Before they even open the door, before their greeting leaves their lips, I turn to look up at Esme, letting her know without words that there is no change.

"Has he not bothered waking up yet?" Rosalie pollutes the room with her voice. Before I can stab her with my words, it is Alice who replies.

"Rosalie, dear, please show some respect before I shove your Jimmy Choo's down your throat!" she says in her ever sweet voice.

I watch as Rosalie scowls at our sister as if she said nothing out of turn.

"Well, excuse me for showing some interest!" she moans.

I find myself standing up to shout at my sister, to point out that life isn't the happy little game she plays, but Alice intercepts me.

"Want to go get a coffee, honey?" she asks, looking up at me.

I smile at her attempt to play peacekeeper as I try to form the words to tell her how I would love a coffee. I need the energy kick. I know everything will be okay as Esme will be here to call me if there is a problem.

My thoughts were suddenly cut short as the machines began to scream.

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**AN - oh dear, what next?**

**Please leave me some love.**


	4. You Promised No Tears

**Hey everyone, thanks so much for reading.**

**As you know, this is a sequel to my story The Next Three Days, and I would like to thank all those who asked me to pen a sequel, because I am loving this story. So thanks to Min, Karen and Cheryl and all the others who asked.**

**Thanks to my pre readers Twilight Mum69 and Nmydreamz and my Beta Mrs. Aggett.**

**My pre reader Nmydreamz is naming all the chapters from now on, and this is her first one, so thank you very much to her xxx**

**I do not own these characters**

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**Emmett**

"Emmett, honey, you have to hurry." I can sense the urgency in my mother's voice and understand the meaning held within it as I watch the scene unfold through the small door between life and death.

Suddenly, my decision has a time limit, a sense of urgency that wasn't there before.

The sounds of the machines monitoring my life force are somehow shaking the very foundations of the place I stand with my parents. I watch as the small portal vibrates before me, somehow appearing to open and close as it obstructs my view for short intervals, making my choice harder as I fear it closing on me forever. I watch as the room fills with nurses and doctors, and my head and heart decide to take their own sides of my life or death decision. I just wish they would unite as one and help me make this choice that is somehow far more urgent than it seemed moments ago.

My head is the realist, standing with me beside my parents as it sends painful reminders of what I lived through, what I somehow survived, only to fall upon _his_ ugly blade in my life's finale. The mind that used to power my body, that gave me the ability to move around in my day to day life, store the memories both loving and bitter, is now telling me to end everything and to stay in the light. It doesn't have to give me many reasons to remain here, away from that _thing_ we all call precious life. All it has to do is keep showing me...Charlie!

I know just how easy it would be to remain here and to give in to the reality of my life and allow my head to keep me here for my annihilation; yet, somehow I can feel my heart trying to pull me back to my body.

Is it really a foolish notion to follow what your heart truly wants?

Whereas my _head_ is telling me it is right to stay, my _heart_ is like a magnet pulling me not just towards life, but towards the man with tears falling from his eyes. He looks so lost standing against the wall in the room as he watches the horrors play out before him. I can literally see my heart floating above him, each beat like a giganteus thud, shaking the room like it is a victim to an earthquake.

"See how much your heart wants him, son?" I hear my father's voice beside me, but all I can see is the image of Carlisle becoming brighter by the second below my heart.

I am in the middle of love and common sense and although I can feel that pull towards Carlisle, I still don't have the strength to make the choice. I just need more time.

"Don't you remember baby, the last thing you ever said to him?" my mother asks. "Try and remember."

I don't need to try. Of course I remember. The memory of the last words that left my lips as my eyes closed before his gentle face; the last thing I would see and hear in my life is replaying before me. My mind flashes back to that moment, reliving the sorrow thatI felt within me as my eyes became heavy, the pain numbing slightly as the thumps from my heart weakened.

"_Y...you prom...ised, no... t...tears." _My whole body begins to ache for him again, as it did when it began to shut down. _"N...never...c...cry". _That was what I wanted at that moment, above all else, as I watched his tears fall. I made him promise not to shed another, not to tarnish his face again for someone like me.

Someone unworthy of his sweet love.

I can feel my body turning back to my parents, but not to stay with them, as I once wanted**. **I can feel the words begin to form my farewells.

**Carlisle**

Have you ever heard the noise of a life support machine sending out its warning song? We didn't get that sense of utter dread that fills every cell in your body, like when you feel the ground open up below you and you begin to fall. We didn't have to call for anyone. The medical team was here before either of us could do anything, not that my voice could even manage it as I stand frozen before Alice.

I allow them to push past me and force me into the wall without apology as my eyes fall to the once pulsing line that monitored his heart beat. I know that I am not alone in the room, but my vision has somehow thrown everyone from view as I stand and watch Emmett from afar.

I want to run over to him, to somehow be the one that pulls him back and silence the screams, yet I remain forever motionless, sticking to the wall like a fly.

"It's okay, Carlisle...it will be...okay..." Alice tries to reassure me that this is all normal, but her broken voice through the fall of her tears is giving her away.

Nothing about this is normal. Nothing about what brought us here is fucking normal! Everything going on in this room is so completely fucked up!

I force my eyes to close as I try to stop the falling tears, the ones that seem to be able to break free from my control at any given moment. His last request, the last delight his voice gave to my ears while he slipped from me, I am unable to fulfill. Does he really think I can go without crying, when all I can see is a misery that seems to want to pull the water from my eyes? Yes, I want to be able to do as he asked of me, but right here and now I am too weak to hold them back.

_I am sorry I can't hold them back, Emmett. I am just not as strong as you. Forgive me._

"What is happening? Is he going to be okay?" I hear the sound of Esme's voice, forgetting she had even entered the room moments before the screaming began.

She is standing at the entrance to the room, looking and feeling as helpless as I am right now. Her eyes never leave his bed as she watches the experts try to bring him back to us. Nothing shocks me about her expression or the falling tears from her own eyes as she begins to break down and become the crumbling mess I am feeling on the inside. As someone goes to comfort her, I am shocked to see that it isn't Alice as I would have expected. She is still consoling her little brother. It is Rosalie!

My sister, the one who cares for only the person she sees within the mirror, is embracing Esme like an old friend, allowing her tear drenched face to rest on her shoulder, not caring that her clothes may be ruined. Alice's gaze follows mine as we both look upon our older sister who is acting so out of character, her face wet with her own tears! I have never seen her cry tears for anything other than getting her own way. When she looks in my direction, she starts to move herself and Esme over to where Alice and I are. Her arms are suddenly open...for me!

I watch as these strange arms lock around my neck, pulling my head into her shoulder as she gently strokes my back. This is when I sob, when my whole body actually caves within the arms of a sister I never knew cared; a sister who never showed any interest in me. Somehow this whole, horrible experience has changed her from the evil queen she aspired to be into the gentle loving soul I always needed.

"W...what is...going on? She asked you a...a question!" Rosalie demands of the doctors and nurse, interrupting their work.

I can hear the approaching footsteps and the voice of a young male nurse asking us to step out of the room so they can do what is needed to bring him back. I feel the force of hands guiding me unwillingly from the room, pulling me towards the door without my consent.

Then I hear the words that I never want to hear again.

"I think we should call it...he's gone."

As I feel my own life ending, I try to pull from the embrace of thethree women who struggle to hold me back before I fall to me knees.

"EMMETT! NO, EMMETT PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!"

**Emmett**

I try to ignore the pull that my heart is inflicting upon me, to hold back the urge to run to the portal as I stand before my parents. I take in both of their smiling faces as they stand before me, ready for me to leave them, for me to give them that bittersweet goodbye I never had a chance to give.

"I...I..." My voice fails me as I look to both of them through saddening tears.

Their smiles don't falter. Sparkling tears fall from their own faces as their hands reach out to give me that final touch.

"It's okay, son. This is what we want for you. We don't want you to come here until it is the right time," my father says, running his hands through my hair before wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I make a mental note to never allow this feeling to leave me, the memory of his touch that so easily left me these past years. It is a feeling like no other, a sensation sent through my body that is so unique.

"I don't...want to...leave you. Not again." I tell them that which is within my heart, the factor that wants me to remain with them both.

"Of course you don't, my baby, but hear how life screams for you. Can't you hear how much he wants to hold you again?" my mother says, in that sweet motherly voice that is music to my ears.

It is a melody I never want to stop hearing.

I don't look back to the room. I don't need to see him again to remember his arms around me and his gentle touch that was so unfamiliar before I met him. His hands were just like my parents' used to be, only more intense somehow.

"I want to hold him, too. I am so sorry, but I want to feel him near me again." I am breaking a little inside as I know our conversation is about to end and how I am about to turn my back on them until we meet again.

Will I remember this moment, or will it be a memory I am not blessed to keep?

"Don't be sorry for falling in love. Don't ever apologise for that," my mother says as she pulls me into her arms and I take that one last inhale of her scent before I have to leave.

I gently pull my body away from my parents, but as I turn to head towards the commotion filled room, I feel my mother's hand grasp my wrist.

"Mum?" I ask, turning my attention back to my parents.

"Promise me one thing, Emmett," she says, her lower lip trembling a little.

"Yes...anything," I reply. As if I would ever refuse her.

"Promise me, no matter how bad things get, that you will try to have a happy life. Promise me that you won't...hurt yourself again," she pleads.

I blush slightly from the memory of dancing the blade over my body in a bid to gain a sense of control.

"I promise, and I am...sorry." I hang my head dejectedly, feeling the shame of not knowing they could see my only way of coping.

I feel her hand touch my chin as she pulls my eyes to hers.

"Don't _ever_ be sorry, just promise me...no matter what happens." As she says this to me, I start to feel a pull from the room, start to feel myself going back.

But wait!

"What do you mean, no matter what happens?" I call back, as my parents become smaller and smaller in my view.

Neither reply as their hands wave me goodbye. As I feel myself going back into my tainted exterior, I somehow can't help thinking about her final words.

**Carlisle**

I am still in Rosalie's arms when I hear Dr. Finnigan talking. Somehow, my sister has still not pushed me away from her, not caring how much I fisted her perfect clothing while I sobbed.

I turn my head to look at the doctor. Her expressionless face fills my heart with woe. It's bad news; I can tell by her face that it's bad. The last thing I heard them say before I was dragged from the room was that they _called it._

_Did you leave me, Emmett? Was I really not enough to hold on for?_

"Somehow, he has managed to hang in there. He is still not awake yet, but his heart is beating again. Although..." I don't care about the rest. I don't want to hear what else she has to say other than his heart is beating again. "...if he doesn't wake in the next twenty four hours, it is very unlikely he will. You need to prepare yourselves for the worst."

The worst? I know what that will mean, but I refuse to allow it to become true, not for Emmett.

"Can we go see him?" The sound of Rosalie's voice startles me slightly.

"Yes, but not too many in there all at once," Dr. Finnigan says, before addressing Esme. "I would suggest only two at a time, and if you see any change, please come get us."

"Yes, of course. Carlisle, let's go in. I am sure your sisters won't mind waiting here," Esme declares, helping me to my failing feet.

"We will be here, if you need us." I look back to the sound of Rosalie's voice, seeing that unexpected half smile lighting up her face. "I love you, little brother."

I smile back as I watch my sisters embrace each other, their silent tears falling.

How are they both so sad for someone they have never met?

As Esme leads me back into the room and over to the chair, I take his hand in mine again, bringing it up to gently meet my lips. I rest his hand back onto the bed beside him and lower my head over it, crying heart wrenching tears at the thought of losing him.

Twenty four hours are all he has to come back, to open his eyes and see how willingly I have waited for him. I can feel Esme's hands moving in a circular motion over my back as she makes gentle noises with her voice in hopes of soothing me. Nothing can soothe me now, not when there are so few short hours left, while everything still hangs in the balance.

I leave my head in its place at the side of his bed, sobbing further as I release his hand from mine. I stroke my hand on his leg as I sob through stinging eyes. I don't hear the gasp from Esme's voice and don't feel the touch on my hair. All I hear are the strained words.

"You...p...promised...n...never to c...cry."

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**AN - Some stories I adore at the moment.**

**Trust Me - Twilight Mum69 (found on Fanfiction and TWCS)**

**Can You Hear Me - Jasper1863Hale (TWCS)**

**Accidental Love - Mrs. Aggett (FanFiction)**

**Paging Mr Right - S.M. Cullen (Fanfiction)**


	5. No Matter What Happens

**Thank you all for the reviews as always.**

**Big thank you to my pre readers Nmydreamz who managed to pull this chapter out of me, and Twilight mum69 and my Beta Mrs. Agget.**

**As always, I only play and do not own these charaters.**

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**Carlisle**

"You...p...promised...n...never to c...cry."

I am suffering through my own mental torture. My brain feels like it is swelling beyond its boundaries, trying to break through my skull.

What had I ever done to deserve the torture of hearing the sound I long to hear but fear I will never hear again?

That voice, the one I have yearned for these past hours that have felt like agonising years, is tormenting me. I can hear it echoing through my head, teasing my brain into thinking he is finally awake. Has insanity finally started to take over as I hear his voice, like that of a ghost, howling its horrors through my ears?

I try to ignore the feeling of fingers running through my hair, fingers I wish with everything within me were his and not Esme's. As much as I love her, it's not _her_ touch that I miss in this moment. My whole body is silently vibrating with agonising sobs that want to escape me, but the sound refuses to taint the silent room with my broken voice. I miss that short time he and I had together as I held him in my arms, the feeling of his chest rising and falling as we just sat together watching a movie whose title now escapes me. That was a beautiful night. It was a perfect end to a perfect day with the man I had watched from afar for so long. I had acted out in my head, so many times, the feeling of holding him close to me, of blessing my lips with the admission that he was mine.

And he almost was.

"C...Carlis...le." I can hear it again, that voice torturing me. This time it is calling my name with a voice that is _his_, yet I know it can't be, know how it will never be again.

I feel a gentle grip on my hair. Fingers that I wish are his are now knotting themselves through my short locks.

I stifle a sob in my throat as I remember his tentative touch on me, how his unsure fingers graced my body like they were touching porcelain, a touch I know will never feel as perfect from another.

I push my body up so that I can rest my elbows on the bed, with my face in my palms, shielding my vision from this room that I never want to see again. In the darkness of my palms, my mind sees a small hourglass. The sand that is the representation of his life is pouring out of it at an alarming rate, counting down until the final hour. In a few short hours, the glass will run empty until he is...no more!

I know I am giving up on him. I know I am not giving him the chance to come back to me, but why would he? Emmett's life was just a game to some sick individuals who not only decided to take a child's innocence, but also to dance a blade over his body and create texture on a once smooth canvas. I heard how he would scream at night in the clinic, calling the names of his aunt and uncle to leave him alone, to not hurt him anymore, and that he was...sorry! He was a game to them, a way to pass the time and hurt someone they should have protected, so why would he come back to that? He is close to finally escaping the life he wanted to leave behind, finally resting at blissful peace.

There is nothing for him here. I am not enough!

I know what I want to be for him, what I wish we could become, but I won't allow my selfish desires to keep him in a place he wants to leave. If he wants to go, then I will have to let him, regardless of how much I know my body will yearn for him and mourn his goodbye.

I jump slightly as Esme clears her throat, her hands resting on my shoulders as she tries in vain to pull me from my darkened solitude. It takes me a few seconds before my body registers the touch of the third hand, the one that is tentatively stroking my elbow.

Is my body playing tricks on my mind?

Does every part of me want me to feel as bad as I possibly can?

I may not be the one lying bludgeoned in the bed, knocking on death's door, but I am the one succumbing to insanity at the pending loss.

_Emmett...I miss you!_

"E...Emmett!" I hear Esme exclaim behind me, verbalising the name I said in my mind. I feel as she tightens her grip on my shoulders, but I still keep my head in my palms, not wanting to fall prey to my own madness.

I will not allow my insanity to consume me.

He isn't awake, I am just hearing phantom voices everywhere and feeling ghost-like touches on my body. I have wanted to hear and feel him so much that my body is somehow imagining that this is real.

Nothing is real anymore!

Everything is going to fuck!

"Carlisle! He is awake! _Carlisle?" _Esme shakes my body firmly and I take a large inhale of breath.

Is my friend playing in this game? Is she wanting the insanity to consume me so I become her next patient?

No!

Not Esme. Not the woman who is as upset as I am of what has just happened here, what has brought us to this place.

I want to look. No, I _need_ to look, to see the tricks that my mind and body are playing on me.

Slowly I remove my face from my palms, my eyes blinding slightly under the fluorescent lights, and I just stare ahead, blinking to will my eyes to get used to the lighting again. Slowly, I look down at my elbows and I can see the small movement of his fingers against my elbow, causing explosions to ignite throughout my body. It makes me snap my head in his direction.

Emmett!

My eyes lock with his small slits, the small amount of aqua pools sparkling through, finally quenching the drought within me. Those eyes, the ones struggling to remain open, are smiling back at me from the bed, letting me know that he is finally...awake!

"Emmett!" I almost shout his name, as I get to my feet so that I can lean over him and look deeper into his eyes. "Baby...baby, I'm here!"

It's hard to hide the excitement in my voice as I lean closer into his perfect face, feeling the welcome heat of his breath flowing over me. The breath I feared would never escape his lips again.

I can feel fresh tears breaking through my sore eyes, but these are not ones that are for the loss I was feeling for him. These are tears of a joy that are throwing the insanity from me, booting it from my head and closing the door to my mind.

My boy is awake, his eyes reawakening the life within me that was ready to lay at his side and die with him...to walk into the unknown that is the afterlife, hand in hand as we both took that final step into the light people say you see when you die.

Did he see it?

"I will get someone!" Esme says, fleeing the room as I keep my focus forever on the eyes that I never thought I would see sparkle again.

"C...Car...l..." His hoarse voice stops short as he struggles to say my name again, his hand moving up to the bandages on his neck.

"Emmett, don't touch there, it may..." I underestimate his speed as his hand reaches his throat, touching the tender wound for a second before his agonising screams fill the room.

The pain finally registers with his brain as his tears burst forth, letting me and the approaching doctors and nurses know that if he was given any kind of pain relief, it has well and truly worn off.

Within seconds, my view of him is shielded by pristine white outfits. It's almost like a dole of doves have settled between us, and I just look in through the small gaps as I try to see him again. I need to see some sign that they are sorting the pain for him, that he won't get a taste of what his recovery will be and decide to chase after the light again, leaving me one last time.

The look he has in his face, as his small attempt at a smile shattered when the pain registered, is somehow worse than the other face I remember, the one of him in my arms, covered in his own blood as his eyes became heavy. There was no pain registering that time, no screams of anguish that are now shattering the silence of the room. He was somehow humble then, just happy I had made it back to him. Yet now, he is screaming with a sound that is alien to how I remember his voice. His once deep, soft vocals are now reaching a pitch that could shatter glass.

I can see almost nothing through the gaps. I hear only his screams as the doves tend to him while I am pulled from the room by the power of Esme.

"CARLISLE!" My heart explodes in my chest as I hear the pain in his words as he screams my name, the sound stilling finally as the door to the room is closed. "PLEASE...DON'T...LEAVE ME!

"Emm..." His name leaves my lips in a small whimper. My body is almost as solid as a sculpture as I keep my gaze on the closed door before me. I try and ignore the three sets of hands and voices trying to coax me to sit down and wait for news, telling me he will be okay.

"Carlisle, baby, I promise you he will be okay. These people know what they are doing. Sweetie, come sit down." I can hear Alice's voice, but I opt to ignore it as I try and will my eyes to see through the solid door, to make sure the doves are doing all they can for my Emmett.

She says they know what they are doing, but do they know who they have in there with them? Do they know just how fragile he is? He isn't just a number, not just another patient. He is the perfect specimen of a pure heart and he came back...to me!

Please don't run away from the pain, Emmett!

Rosalie steps before me, blocking my view. Does she not know that if I stop looking, if I break my eyes for just a second, that he may...die? Can she not see that I am trying to ease his pain with my longing? I try to look past her but she follows my stance, trying to coax me into some childish game.

"Carlisle, don't do this to yourself. You don't need to see him like this."

Now is not the fucking time! I have seen him a lot worse!

But I have never heard him scream...not like _this_.

"Rosalie!" I say, trying to push her from me, but somehow she remains strong and in place.

"Carlisle, I have spent years keeping in the front of a queue when a designer opens a new line. You won't be able to move me." She offers me her alien smile again, resting her hands on either side of my face as she forces my eyes to settle on hers. "You won't do him any good standing here like this. You need to relax so when the door opens he sees your happy, smiling face; not this _old-before-your-years_ expression."

I scowl at my sister. "Fuck...I doubt he will even..."

"Carlisle Cullen!" She cuts my words short. "That boy has finally woken up. Now you need to put on a face he will _need_ to see, and not the one that will just fill him with worry." Suddenly, her voice softens. "Believe me, baby. Listen to the girl who has worn a mask for years. Sometimes, people need to see a lie." She shrugs slightly before finally pulling me to a vacant seat.

I somehow know she is right, that he won't want to see how my heart is breaking for him. I need to find the strength to show him that I am more than weak, that I _am_ and _will_ be the pillar of strength he needs.

We remain in silence, all sporadically looking to the door before settling our gaze on nothing again as we await news. My mind wanders from my worry over Emmett, whose muffled screams have ceased slightly, to Rosalie, the sister I have lived with for so long and never really known. My sister, who lives behind a mask, never showing people who she really is.

Suddenly, I remember something that she once told me. It's something that finally makes sense to me now.

_Nobody can ever really hurt a bitch, because a bitch will never let them get too close to her to care._

Is the rude side of Rosalie that I have known for so long just a facade, a way to keep people at bay?

Is she really the bitch she claims to be?

My pondering is cut short as the door finally opens.

**Emmett**

I remember everything, every part of how I stood before life and death, looking from my loving parents and back through the darkness into the portal to see the man who was awaiting my return. I made the choice and I chose _him_, to feel him against me once more as I would try to make another attempt at a life my parents told me they wanted for me. As I open my eyes, the first thing I see and feel is him, my eyes and body being greeted by the splendor of him, confirming within me that I made the right choice.

As my mind and heart finally agreed that my choice was indeed correct, my body decided to interrupt the moment and tell me there was pain...pain in the place where Charlie had left his mark on me.

It hurts everywhere!

Even in places I never felt his blade break through my skin, I can somehow feel my body suffering at his hand.

My voice screams out the agony that is running through me, no longer a soft hum like it was before I closed my eyes in his arms. No, the pain is very much here now. It is so much that I black out while the doctors and nurses try to sort me out.

Just before I succumb to exhaustion, my voice screams his name as my eyes finally close.

I just really hope he doesn't leave me.

**xOx**

Feeling as though my eyes have only been closed for a moment, as quick as a blink, I open them slowly as I become aware of mild pain and four sets of eyes all beaming down at me. I am the nervous boy in a room full of strangers, all looking to me as if waiting for a reply to a question I never heard...expecting an answer from someone who just woke up to a room full of faces. Even with the two familiar eyes before me, I still feel strangely uncomfortable.

A tight squeeze of his hand pulls my eyes to him, my heart fluttering inside my no longer painful chest. "C...arli...sle." Even with what I assume are copious amounts of painkillers, I still struggle to vibrate his name from my throat.

He smiles at me, his thumb stroking my palm. "It's okay, Emm. You don't need to speak. Just relax for now, baby."

He says my name, shortening it affectionately like he did the night of our date, the night before...the _attack_. I push that thought from my memory, refusing to let what Charlie did to me ruin the moment. My eyes are settling on the man before me, the man who blesses me with a new name, a name for me that only _he_ has permission to say.

Painfully, I swallow nothing down my dry throat, forgetting somehow to form my own saliva so that I can moisten the ache. I wince slightly at the thirst slowly starting to consume me, knowing how much it will hurt to ask for the blessing of water.

My exhausted body is only allowing me the ability to move millimeters at a time. I can't even fathom how I will bring the water to my lips.

A bright voice comes to my aid.

"Carlisle, I think he needs something to drink." I turn my attention to the short girl sitting at my side, smiling at me through the curtain of her short, dark hair.

_His sister..._

I remember my mother telling me who she was, and the memory of saying my goodbyes to my parents causes a small war in my throat as a lump starts to form.

I fight back the tears that would willingly fall from me at the thought of what I left behind in limbo, as I remind myself that this is what they wanted for me, to live a life I promised to attempt.

I manage a small smile through the pain for his sister as Carlisle brought a straw to my lips, and I struggle through the effort of sipping the water, my silent prayer answered. Yes, it hurts like a bitch. The initial liquid entering my throat is like lava pouring into me. I get through it, managing to get to the point where the water becomes cool and refreshing, a sweet relief.

As I take in small amounts of water, trying to stop myself from gulping the lot down and emptying the small plastic cup, I use the time to look at the _other_ face...the one I didn't know before or see in my limbo, the blonde girl sitting on the same side as his sister but near my feet. I watch as she offers me a small smile before pulling her eyes from mine to look through the contents of her handbag nervously.

I watch with interest as she keeps her features stiff, giving away nothing about herself as she pretends to find her bag much more interesting than the people around her, or the man in the bed she has never met. Her flawless, milky skin blushes slightly as she glances back in my direction, then pulls away when she sees me looking.

A small cough pulls my attention back to his sister as she looks to her brother before speaking. "Carlisle, are you going to introduce us?" she nods in my direction.

"Oh...sorry..." he says, still stroking my palm with his thumb. "Emm, this is my sister Alice," he presents, nodding at his sister.

"Emmett, it's so nice to finally meet you. I am so sorry it's...well..._here_," Alice says, biting her lip when she sees I can't respond.

I smile at her, still not wanting to risk speaking and bringing back the numbed pain in my throat.

"And this is my other sister, Rosalie," Carlisle says, finally giving a name to the blonde near my feet, telling me who he is to her.

"HI EMMETT! IT'S REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU!" I am not the only one who jumps at the volume in her voice.

"Rosalie, darling, he is in pain. He isn't actually deaf!" I smile through the pain that erupts at my jump, looking to the voice of Esme as she tentatively scolds Rosalie.

I never felt that my chest had tightened, but as my eyes fall to Dr. Esme Platt, I can feel the knott unravelling at the sight of her. The lady, who showed me that what I did for my uncle was _not_ my fault, not something I should be ashamed of, is now waiting at my bedside. She offers me that smile she always wore at the clinic, letting me know that she isn't going anywhere and that she isn't sitting here for any other reason, but only because she wants to be.

I feel so rich as I lay here in my numbed state. I'm rich because I have so many people waiting for me to wake up, wanting me to feel better. My parents had loved me until they left my life, then there was nothing until I was in the clinic and I met Esme, the woman who made me feel loved again. Then, as I left the clinic, the man who I thought was cute actually tried to ask me out, but I found a confidence from somewhere to beat him to it. He gave me a taste of the start of real love. Never once have I had so many people around me who truly emitted so much love for someone as plain as me.

What have I ever done to deserve this?

"Oh shit! I am so sorry!" The blonde sister says, ending her words with a slapping noise that has everyone gasping in shock.

"Fuck, Rose!" Carlisle snaps at his sister, making me frown slightly. "He just came round from near death and you slap his leg!"

She slapped whose leg?

Mine?

She did?

The door to the room opens and a young male nurse walks in, smiling at us all, abolishing the thoughts of an unknown slap from my mind. "Well, nice to see you're finally awake. You had us all worried for a while," he says, grinning at me. "My name is Jasper, and I will be your nurse today."

I smile at the giggling blonde nurse as he checks the small clipboard he took from the end of the bed, watching as he grins at me and the four people at my bedside, but begins to frown slightly at the scowl that Carlisle is still offering his sister.

"Everything okay here?" he asks, looking in my direction as if expecting me to be able to answer.

"Yes...fine, apart from my sister slapping your patient's leg!" Carlisle snaps.

Rosaline grunts loudly. "It was an accident!" My heart wrenches at the small sign of moisture in her eyes for something I really didn't even feel.

We all look to the sound of Jasper's melodic laugh, his hands settling on his hips. "I am sure no harm was done, was it, Emmett?" He asks, smiling at me.

I shake my head, taking a small breath as I prepare for the pain that my voice will create. "D...didn't...feel...a...anything," I tell him, grimacing slightly at the expected discomfort the vibrations caused in my throat.

Esme offers me a questioning look. "You didn't feel..._anything_?" she asks.

I shake my head, not wanting to risk speaking again as I offer her a small smile. It seems so odd to me that they all care about a slap to the only part of my body that didn't have a tingle of numbed pain.

Her eyes widen slightly.

"Emmett, what foot am I holding?" she asks, looking to Jasper as if they are holding a silent conversation.

I look back at the quizzical exchange, wondering what Esme means. She isn't even holding my foot.

I don't feel anything.

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**AN - thanks for reading, leave me some love.**


	6. Hope and Hopelessness

**Hey guys. Thanks so much for the reviews and keeping with me on this.**

**So, the last chapter was a cliffie, wasn't it? So sorry, but things can only get better...can't they? **

**Big thanks to my pre readers Twilight Mum69 and nmydreamz, and my beta Mrs. Agget.**

**This chapter is dedicated to my friend Min, because she loves the story and seems to like dropping everything, even food, to read this xxx**

**Sadly, I do not own Emmett, Carlisle, or any of the Twilight cast...if only.**

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**Chapter Six**

**Carlisle**

My grandmother once told me that the saddest sound in the world would be the sound of doves crying, and that anything that was a symbol of purity should never shed tears. I wish she was still here so I could tell her just how wrong she was and how even _that_ sound could not amount to the sadness rushing through me as I have listened to the sobs escaping Emmett.

It has been three days now since the doctor came to his room - three days since they told him that they had to run further tests to check just how much damage was done - three days since they told him about the tissue damage that has aided in the loss of sensation in his limbs.

For three days now, he has laid on the hospital cot in his new room on a ward, crying for almost a day, tears and sounds that tore me apart within until the deathly silence came. Selfishly, I would _rather_ hear him cry than hear nothing at all, like I did when we stood on the blade of the knife, between life and death.

I wasn't there with him when the doctor gave him the results. I was made to leave the room and witness his crying through the door when Emmett and Esme were given the news. Of course, my mind wandered to the dark side, to the thought of him being paralyzed forever. I knew nothing more until Esme finally came out and told me the full story, easing my troubled mind.

Emmett would have to learn to walk again, the way a toddler has to do to become the playful child we all once were. Yet, even with this news, this small ray of hope in what I assumed to be darkness, Emmett remains in silence. His small sobs of breath are the only sound I hear.

For three days he has laid silent in his small room, reluctantly taking small morsels of food when the kind lady with the food trolley arrives. He takes only a few bites before his eyes return to gazing longingly out the window, small tears forever tarnishing his perfect face.

Is it wrong that I want to shake him to let him know that is isn't that bad and that we can make it through the rain...together?

Life called the others away, back to their busy days, returning when they can to try and pull him back from the small cloud of misery that is trying to consume him. I stay with him, of course. I have nowhere I would rather be. While the others had to return to their lives, _my_ life is laying here in his hospital cot, slowly shutting down. My everything is laying here, giving up on living because there is a possibility he may never walk again. Does it really even matter? Can't he see that I will be the legs he may miss, that I will carry him on my back regardless of the weight on my shoulders? Even if I was to step barefoot over hot coals, I would never drop him. I would only carry him to where we need to be.

I will do all I can...for him.

I can sense that on some level deep within him, he is feeling useless and that he will be a burden to others without intent. As if _he_ could ever be anything other than sweet perfection. It is _I _who is useless. It is_ I _who has the inability to help him and give him a reason to go on.

Emmett may have lost the use of his legs, however temporary the doctor believes it to be, but it is _me_, Carlisle Cullen, that can't even make him smile. Therefore, I am nothing if not useless, regardless of my efforts.

I can't even make him speak, and how I miss the melodic sound of his voice.

"Emmett..." I try another failed attempt to pull him back to me and show me a sign that there is still hope.

Nothing. No reply, just that bitter silence again.

I can't blame him for letting go, not really. I think I would feel the same if it were me lying there with the chance I may never walk again, to have to rely on other people to help me get around day to day, to help me pee!

So no, I can't really blame him but, at the same time, I can't stop loving him just because he may never walk again.

I have never looked upon the disabled with pity. I am not that kind of person, but I do wonder how they find the strength to go on and to do things I don't think I could ever do. If he never walks again, I hope to marvel in the strength that I hope he finds to accomplish this, too.

I can't give up on him.

I won't!

**Emmett**

I guess I didn't really heed my mother's warning, didn't really take it in enough. Yes, she gave me an indication that something like this may happen, and in the back of my mind I thought I had prepared myself for the worst, but can you ever _really_ prepare yourself for something like this?

As the news was given to me, I somehow suddenly entered into a silent movie, all lips moving around me as if they were just muscles that failed to promote sound. My ears refused to allow me to hear more as the realisation that all the feeling was gone from my waist down hit home. Esme looked from me to the doctor, her hand over her mouth as tears fell from her eyes. I didn't need to hear the words to know how fucked I was.

"Emmett..." Carlisle tries again to pull me from my thoughts, to somehow sugarcoat the situation.

How can you really sugarcoat the fact I may never walk again? Do you put a big red bow on a wheelchair in a vain effort to pimp my ride? You can polish a shit, but it is still that in the end, just a shit!

"I am going to grab a drink. You need anything?" Carlisle asks, still trying to get me to utter even a small word...but I won't.

Ever since Esme realised I wasn't feeling her touch, I had been prodded and poked by a doctor, only to be told of tissue damage effecting some nerve in my body that wasn't allowing my brain to make my legs move. I had no idea what the fuck the doctor was telling me. All I heard was the fact I would have to learn to walk again, if the tissue would repair itself.

If it doesn't, what then? Will I become just a torso with no need for my legs?

As soon as I hear the door closing behind him, I allow the tears to finally fall from my eyes, tears I have tried to hold off in everyone's presence. I have seen enough pity in their eyes to last me a lifetime and I won't give them the pleasure of seeing me cry as well.

I should have stayed in the light. I should have ignored my mother's pleas and my heart pulling me back to Carlisle. I should have listened only to my head and not had to suffer the shame of losing the ability to walk.

Yes, I feel shame. What else is left for me to feel? Others may hate me for thinking this, but what else can I think? Tell me and I will at least try to feel it! I have seen others who can't walk, still leading normal lives, but how can I do that? How can I take steps into a life with hope for love if I can't even walk there?

Closing my eyes, I ignore my plight and use my head to play images before me, behind the curtains of my lazy eyes - images that are the only thing that can make me smile right now. In my head, Uncle Charlie did what he came to my flat to do. After abusing me again and leaving me in a pool of my own blood, my heart had finally stopped, leaving a smile below my blood covered face.

That is all I want right now, for my uncle to have had his way and finally finish me off, turning the switch to my life off. But no, I had to make that stupid call, that small bid for help! Why couldn't I have just not bothered and succumbed to death?

_Because you wanted to be with Carlisle. On some level, you know that!_

I did, but how stupid I was, how stupid I _am_ to think that he would even want me now, like this! Even if I could pull myself from the misery that is taking me over, would he even want to know me now, let alone _love_ me?

How would we even finally make love when I feel nothing in the place that counts?

"Hi there." A small, unfamiliar voice breaks through my head and I turn my attention to a small girl wheeling herself into my room in a wheelchair.

I don't speak as I take in the smiling face of the little girl before me, seated on her metal throne that someone has pimped with pink ribbons, small jewels, and even a bell. She is wearing a pink night dress over her body... a body that is almost covered in what looks like raw, red flesh. Yet, she is smiling all the same, giving off the illusion that she feels nothing of the sores that cover her.

"Wow, you room is _soooo_ much bigger than mine!" she says, wheeling over to my bed while she looks over the room.

Fearing she will crash into the bed, I start to call out to her but as if the wheels are her legs, she wheels out of harms way like a pro, never even stopping to change direction. After admiring the boring walls of the room, she glides herself over to the head of my bed, smiling at me again through her innocent, almost crimson, eyes.

"My name is Nettie, and I am nine. How old are you?" she asks, still smiling as she leans the non red part of her face on her hand, her elbow resting on the arm of her chair.

Having the small girl closer to me, I can see more of her features. I see how some of the red skin appears to be melted in places and is forming odd marks under the red. Her white hair is patchy in parts where regrowth is forming. Everything that would terrify me is somehow not bothering the small child that is still smiling and waiting for me to reply. All of my scars I keep hidden, yet this little girl has most of hers on show and she seems quite happy, in fact.

"Old!" I say, smiling slightly at the slight frustration on her face. "N...nineteen."

Her eyes widen in disbelief. "Wow, you are _so_ old!" she says, her jaw still hanging open.

For the first time in days, maybe longer, a small laugh leaves my lips at the little girl who thinks my age is almost geriatric.

"W...who you calling old?" My face now wears a smile that is not forced, but somehow wants to be back on my face.

Ignoring my question, she rambles into another conversation. "What are you in here for?"

She asks it like I am doing time and my smile falters for a moment as I answer her.

"Stabbing...may not be able to walk again."

Without having time to wonder if I should be telling a nine year old about a stabbing, she is off chattering again.

"They said I may not walk again, but watch this."

I watch in awe, and a little fear, as she puts the brakes on her wheelchair and, with her hands, slowly moves her bare, red feet to the floor before pulling herself to standing and raising her hands above her head. She takes two steps toward me, resting on the bed for a second, before making her way back to her chair.

"Ta-dah!" she says breathlessly, grinning at me before sitting down again. "I proved those doctors wrong, didn't I? Nurse Jasper says I will be chasing boys in the park in no time!" Her eyes glaze over dreamily as she says the name _Jasper_, and I wonder whether she will be chasing him before too long.

The girl definitely has taste.

Suddenly the door to my room opens with a slight bang, and standing there, as if on queue, is Jasper with his hands resting on his hips.

"Nettie girl, I have being searching this ward for you for almost an hour! Didn't we have a lunch date?" he asks, faking a scowl as Nettie screams out her giggles.

She wheels her chair over to Jasper, still giggling at the handsome young nurse, before she turns her attention back to me.

"You hungry, erm...what did you say your name was again?" she asks as she racked her brain for an answer to a question I am just realising she never asked.

"Emmett." I smile. "And I am not hungry."

"Hey, he finally speaks! I thought he lost the sound of his voice for a second, Nettie, but Emmett doesn't eat. Think you can convince him?"

The small girl turns her head back to me and through her scarred, red skin, offers me the most perfect puppy dog eyes and a pout. "_Please_ Emmett."

How can I say no to that? I cannot disappoint the small girl who is so happy, regardless of her scars and inability to walk...yet. I nod to her which is enough to have her wheeling happily from the room, leaving me alone with Jasper as she shouts, "Get out of the way! Nettie coming through! Hey, I'm walking here!"

Chuckling to himself, he walks toward me and allows the door to fall closed behind him as he takes a seat at the side of my bed.

"See, your not the only one who is fighting to try and walk again, mate," he says, smiling slightly. "You would have thought that after what Nettie went through that _she_ would be the one lying here, not _you_!"

I go to protest, to tell him how he can't possibly understand, but he carries on regardless.

"Her mum worked every hour she could to provide for Nettie and her little brother, and on Nettie's eighth birthday, she arranged the two children a small party...nothing expensive, just a cake and a few cheap toys." Jasper leans back in the chair, biting his lip for a second before carrying on. "Sadly, one of the toys was defective and sparks ignited within it that sent a fire raging through the house."

I watch as a small tear falls from his eyes and my breath caught in my throat as I listen.

"Her mum managed to get her little boy out, but she thought that Nettie had already escaped. Upon not seeing her, she ran back inside to the room to find her daughter on fire, but her mum was smart. She covered Nettie in a sheet to stop the fire from burning her even more. They thought it was over but the exit was blocked and the only way out was through a window. Her mother had to throw her child out of the top of a three story house, before jumping out herself."

He pauses to take an inhale of breath before carrying on.

"Her mother came out with only a broken leg and minor burns, but Nettie will never really heal. She will always be scarred. She is proving the doctors wrong who said she would never walk again. She isn't even bothered about her scars, and you know what else?"

"W...what?" I ask, nervous that there could be more to the child's story.

"That little girl has never once not smiled and never once stayed in her room crying when she thinks people can't see." He gets up and walks toward the door.

"Nettie is a fighter. Are you?" He gives me one last look before smiling and opening the door. "Dinner will be ready soon. You want it in here?"

I shake my head, keeping my eyes on Jasper as words escape my lips. "I will come to her room...if I can?" I ask, still playing the story in my head.

"We will need to get you some wheels. Is that ok?"

I nod. "That will be fine...for now."

**Carlisle**

I use my time in the canteen to make the choice to tell him and make him see that it will all be okay. I just need to find the right way, the right approach.

The sound from the TV above catches my attention.

"_Charlie McCarty was caught just a few hours ago. Mr. McCarty is wanted for sexual abuse of a minor and manslaughter. He has been taken in for questioning and sources tell us that he will be facing trial very soon..."_

I don't listen to the rest of the news reporter talking. I have heard enough that I may have a small amount of good news for Emmett, maybe enough to put a smile back on his face at the thought of his uncle finally coming to justice.

I almost run up the three flights of stairs, ignoring the slow lift in my pursuit to get to him, and make it breathlessly to his room.

"Emmett, I have great..." I stop in the doorway of his empty room, fearing what may have happened since I left until I hear the sound of the familiar laughter not far away.

Taking small, cautious steps, I make my way to a room three doors down and stand with my mouth open at the sight before my eyes.

Emmett is sitting in a wheelchair, smiling at a little girl and the male nurse, eating actual food. As he laughs again, I see the small signs of life coming back to him, small traces of the old Emmett returning.

What made this wonder happen?

What was it that managed to finally get him to do what I could not?

I look between Emmett and the smiling girl, then move my eyes to the male nurse and I wonder...is _he_ what Emmett needed to get moving?

Is _he_ what Emmett wants?

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**AN - I really hope what Emmett felt about the possibility of never walking again wasn't too dark, and doesn't upset anyone who can't actually walk. I just tried to convey his fear of not walking again.**

**If I had half the strength that someone with a disability has, then I would be a much better person, as would the rest of the world. **


	7. Friends, Lovers, & Other Strangers

**Sorry for the late update on this. I was busy with my other works, and the boys had gone silent.**

**Big thanks to my pre readers Twilight Mum69 and nmydreamz, and my beta Mrs. Agget.**

**As always, I do not own, only play.**

* * *

**Carlisle**

I feel like an outsider as I sit in the small room around the lunch table as the other three eat their meal. I am a stranger looking in on a happy family, through a window into a place I do not belong. This isn't a family though, yet in all the time I have known Emmett McCarty, I have never seen him smile like this, or laugh in this melodic tone that is enthralling.

Have these two strangers cast a happy spell within him?

Do I really care? Don't I want him to be like this?

None of them in any way ignore me or make me feel unwelcome; yet I do feel as though I don't belong, regardless that this little girl is smiling at me and offering me some of her ice cream. Since I arrived in the room and a seat was offered to me, she has chatted away like we have known each other all our lives.

I must live in a bubble of happy places because I have never seen a sight so harrowing. Yes, I witnessed first hand the blood rushing from the man I seek to love, but that is now a distant memory as he tries to recover. Yet, this small girl is not only a victim of a raging fire, but also chair bound like Emmett.

What did this small girl ever do that she has to suffer so much?

_Nice and closed-minded there, Carlisle. Does she look like a victim? Do victims laugh and joke as if none of what they went through really happened?_

How shameful of me to look at her with nothing more than pity? Would I like someone to look at Emmett the way my eyes are looking at her? Would I like those eyes on me? I shake away the person I hate, the one with judging eyes, as I smile at the girl and the two men that are doting on her.

"I am so lucky, surrounded by such good looking old men," this girl called Nettie says, practically making Jasper choke on his sandwich as she spoons more ice cream into her mouth.

He isn't the only one. Emmett does the same, and even I happen to choke, though my mouth is empty of food. After several seconds, I join the other two men in laughter.

"Watch who you're calling old, brat!" Jasper says, smiling at the little girl.

Try as I might, I still cannot fathom how she is so, so normal, like nothing has ever happened in her life to bring her to the hospital. How is she not phased by the fact that she practically lives in this place, only seeing the sun through thick glass? How does _anyone_ do this? Is it only _I _who would be at the mercy of my predicament?

_You mean like Emmett was, yet you couldn't allow him the time to grieve the loss of his legs, and thought you needed to shake him back to life?_

I guess Emmett and Nettie are stronger than I am, and if he needs to close himself off again, I should give him the time he needs. How can I tell someone to fight to walk again when I know I would be giving up, myself?

Without the physical evidence upon her skin, you would have never known what she has gone through, just assumed she is as ordinary as the next person. Part of me wants to know what brought her to the hospital, yet my manners keep my question at bay. Her business is not mine for the knowing.

"You are _all_ old compared to me, so, _ner!" _she jokes, and I can't help but succumb to the likeability of her. "How do you know Emmett, Carlisle?"

I can feel the heat radiating from my cheeks at her question. How do I tell her that I met him when he was a patient at a clinic, how I almost became his boyfriend, which is something I fear may never happen now? I have no right to ask her how she came to be here, and I definitely have no right to tell her about Emmett's past.

"He is my...friend," Emmett says, his own cheeks reddening in his heat.

I want to reach out and take his hand within mine and show him through a simple touch how I can be more, how I _will_ be more and that I am not going anywhere... but I don't. I simply sit there silently, like a small child in an uncomfortable space.

"_Sure_ he is your friend, but is that like Jasper and Dr Aro are just friends, even though I saw them kissing that one time?" Jasper is now joining us in red faces as he fakes a cough. I watch Nettie roll her eyes as she continues. "What, you think just because I am only nine that I don't understand?" She huffs her annoyance and I find myself smiling.

Gone are the days that were, when a nine year old knew nothing of adult life, let alone witness it first hand. Nettie should be playing with her Barbies, not watching men kiss. Do little girls even play with Barbies anymore?

"Let's change the subject from my private life. Eat your lunch, you have physio this afternoon," Jasper tells Nettie, who is now scolding him with her eyes.

"I hate it there. I am always so tired after!" She groans, resting her elbow on the table while she spoons more of the pink, cold dessert into her mouth.

I watch as Jasper puts his plate down and leans across the small table to take her hand within his, the motion I still wish to do with Emmett. With his other hand, he gently turns her head so that he has her full attention.

"You won't always be tired, Nettie. Anyway, I thought you were going to show mean Dr. Masen that you will walk again," he teases her, apparently to the delight of Nettie...that is, after she frowns at the mention of Dr. Masen.

"I hate him! He said I won't walk again, but I will, won't I Jasper?" she asks, smiling at the young nurse as she nods her head.

He smiles, letting go of her hand as he looks across at Emmett. "Only if you _really_ want to, Nettie. Only _you_ can make it happen, remember?"

I know he is saying this for Emmett's benefit too, and I appreciate it...even though I don't like the look he is giving him. Yes, he is trying to encourage Emmett, but there is something within his eyes, some small desire for someone who is not his!

"He is my boyfriend, Nettie! Carlisle is my boyfriend." His words shocks me as he takes my hand within his, my skin finally able to meet with his like it has yearned for this past hour.

"Well, duh!" Nettie replies, but all I can do is gently caress his hand with my thumb.

**Emmett**

I am not really sure why I said it. All I knew was that I didn't really like the look Jasper gave me and the words simply left my lips. Yes, I know he was trying to indirectly tell me I will walk again, and that only I can make it happen, but there was a look behind his eyes, that same look Uncle Charlie used to give me.

Jasper is _nothing_ like my uncle. I know that...but the lust in his eyes is purely sexual. It isn't a look that Carlisle has ever graced me with. I know I will one day lay with him. I want that more than I dare to admit, but he has never looked at me as an object to crave; only one to love. I know that now, as I have witnessed it from my dream state while I stood with my parents - if that really did happen. I welcome his love, and will eventually welcome his touch.

The young nurse probably _is_ as nice as he is trying to be, one of the good ones, but I have never actually looked at men before, not really. Yes, I knew I was gay from a young age, but I never had a chance to imagine my body intertwining with another, from love. Instead, the choice was taken from me as I was forced flat onto my bed. Then things changed. Then I was not only saved, I met _him_...the man who has never left my side, the man who has never once pushed me into anything other than friendship, maybe even love.

So how can Jasper even think I would return his advances when the only eyes I really want to get lost in are Carlisle's?

Ignoring the flicker in Jasper's eye at my announcement, I turn my head to finally look upon Carlisle, the man whose jaw is loosely agape. I smile as I delight in the blush that washes over him as he gets a hold of himself and closes his mouth.

Feeling his thumb gently moving over my hand is making my whole body tingle. How can a simple touch be so truly fantastic? I can feel the pull of depression when I think to stand and lead him from the room, only to remember that the ability is lost to me now, however temporary. His gentle squeeze of my hand somehow chases away the darkness that wants to come back, and all I feel is the pull of his heart.

He looks uneasy in front of our small audience after my little announcement, but I don't care. I like the look on his face. Carlisle is giving away his own innocence with a simple look of unease, his features somewhat childlike...all very cute.

A little bit of shame washed over me for all the times I ignored his help since I was told I may never walk again. All he wanted to do was give me what Nettie somehow managed to get, to give me hope. I try to tell him with my eyes how sorry I am, and to thank him for all the times he tried.

I can't believe that even he, Carlisle Cullen, has stayed with me through all of this.

WIth my hunger long satisfied, I allow him to wheel me back to my room after bidding Jasper and Nettie farewell, thanking them for their invitation. I feel part of the person that I lost coming back to me, seeing the signal for home as I slowly become the person I was; the one I want to be.

I had dreams as a child, to find someone to love me as much as I love them and have a beautiful relationship, just like my parents...maybe have a child to share our love. But all my dreams were dissolved in acid. Now I can feel my dreams slowly returning, my heart filling me with the want that I had as a child.

"Is here okay?" Carlisle asks after parking me next to his bed and closing the door behind him before continuing. "Need me to help you back into bed, or I could get someone?"

I don't speak as he walks towards me. I simply smile and hold out my hand for his, which I pull into my cheek and hold against my skin. I am exhausted somehow. Even though I have not moved from my chair, I feel like I have been running all day.

Carlisle sits in the vacant chair next to me without pulling his hand free and joins in my silent smiles, words seeming to fail us both. I watch as his lips move, trying to form words, but I muster up the energy to place my fingers over them to silence him, shaking my head before smiling again. He understands and takes my hand in his, so both are joined together as our eyes simply meet and rest within each others; my happy place.

I wish I wasn't in this chair, and I don't plan to be for long. Not now, after seeing all Nettie has achieved. But I want to keep my hand within his and go on our second date, a simple walk through the woods, anything. That old Joni Mitchell song comes to mind, the one where she sings, _Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you got till its gone. _The song holds more meaning now than it ever did.

It's weird how you walk without thinking - how you somehow maneuver through your day without once telling your legs to move. Yet now, as I will my legs to budge, even a slight wiggle, I get nothing! How did I ever do it before?

Sighing deeply and pushing away the need to feel sorry for myself, I squeeze his hands, smiling at the man who stayed when everyone else in my life had to leave me. I know if they could, my parents would be here now, but he is here and he is a friend, not blood. A hopeful lover, not brother.

"You okay, Emmett?" he asks, gracing the silence with his voice.

I nod, still smiling at him while I find my voice. "Still...taking it all in, the fact that I may never..."

"Don't say that. You _will_ walk again. I will help you," he interrupts, but it is somehow a welcomed interruption. "Even if...well... I will carry you!" He exclaims.

Carry me? Would he really do that, become my legs if I really need it?

I flinch slightly when his hand moves to my cheek. "If I am not allowed to cry, then neither are you."

I catch his hand before it can leave my face, pulling it closer to my cheek as I look into his eyes. "It's a deal," I grin as best I can, trying to ignore my unwelcome exhaustion.

Worry sets in his eyes. "Emmett, I can see you're tired. Why didn't you say something? Let me call a nurse."

I don't argue as he leaves the room to get a nurse as pleasure creeps inside me when my head hits the welcoming pillow. I don't even have a chance to thank the nurses before I am pulled into sleep.

**Carlisle**

He isn't the only one who is tired. My body has ached since he came to the hospital and screamed for me to rest, but I couldn't until I knew he was okay - as okay as he could be, given his situation. I welcome the pull of sleep that has my eyelids curtaining my eyes, shutting out the afternoon light as I rest my head against the high back of the visitors chair. It's not the best bed, but it's a start.

It's then that the door opens, but it isn't a nurse that disturbs my need to sleep. "R...Rosalie?" I ask groggily.

Keeping her eyes on the bed that holds Emmett, she walks quietly towards me. "I was just...in the neighbourhood and I really fancied one of the...coffees served here." Disgust fills her eyes at the memory of the coffee, and I know she is trying to disguise the fact she willingly came to visit Emmett. "So, I thought I would happen by. Two birds, one stone, as they say."

I don't let on that I know her real reasons for coming, that she is actually concerned over someone other than herself. That's a trait that is abnormal for my sister.

"I am glad you came by, " I tell my older sibling, smiling at her even though her eyes are still on the boy in the bed.

She bushes slightly before correcting herself. "Don't be silly, little brother. I was just happening by, like I said. Has he spoken yet?" she asks, remembering how he was last time she saw him and the cold silence he offered everyone that visited.

I grin, my face literally chasing away all evidence of sleepiness as I proudly remember how he was before the sandman took him. "Spoken _and_ left the bed." I know I am beaming, but I don't care.

She finally turns to me, her face full of shock. "He walked? Oh my God, it's a miracle!" I almost have to smother her to silence her scream, fearing she will wake Emmett from the sleep he needs.

"Of course he didn't walk!" I snap, keeping my voice low as I look towards Emmett, making sure he wasn't roused. "He went in a wheelchair."

"Oh...well yes, that does make more sense than walking. He will walk though, won't he, Carlisle?" Her voice is almost pleading as she looks upon me, her hands gripping mine tightly as she looks back at the bed.

He will walk again. My baby will find the strength, somehow.

We don't speak much after that, both of us keeping our eyes upon the bed, jumping at any small noise, tensing in want when we think he is about to wake, only to settle again when he doesn't. With my own sleep pushed aside, I watch my boy slumber in his blissful sleep, a small smile upon his face.

"Well this is all very boring, isn't it?" Rosalie says after a short time, causing me to almost jump out of my skin.

My sister may be changing slightly, showing signs that she cares for others, but she still has her impatient side. That much is still very clear.

"They caught him, you know," I finally tell my sister what I should have instantly told Emmett. He does, after all, deserve the knowledge of this more than she does.

"Huh?" She asks, absent mindedly looking through the pages of her magazine.

I sigh, wishing I had thought to bring something with me to occupy myself, other than looking upon Emmett all the time. Actually, even a book or pages of a magazine could not pull my attention from him, the boy who needs it.

"His uncle. The man who put him here," I inform her, my blood starting to boil at the thought of the hurt he inflicted upon Emmett. "They caught him. He is going to trial soon."

Rosalie drops her magazine to the floor and turns her body towards me. I follow in her motion. "When? Where? How?" she asks, on the edge of her seat.

You would have thought that with all the magazines my sister reads that she would at least be up to date on local news, any kind of news in fact, other than what Angelina Jolie is wearing this season.

"Today, I think...I saw it on the news at lunch. Where and how, I have no idea." I watch as the small smile enters onto my sisters face.

"Well, good. I hope they chop off his head!" She nods her head as she speaks, assuming that her request will be met.

"Rosalie, you know they don't do beheadings now...right?" I ask, worried my sister still lives in the dark ages.

She folds her arms and scowls at me. "Of course I know that! Sometimes, though, I really think we need to bring back that kind of punishment!"

She isn't the only one! The thought of his uncle hurting him is enough to make me want to chop his head off his shoulders myself then urinate down his neck for what he inflicted upon a child. A boy he caused to want to take his own life; an older boy he tried to take away from _me_. I want to protect Emmett, shield him from anymore pain and show him how life can be, how perfect a life we can lead in time.

"Does he know?" Her voice interrupts my thoughts, but all I can do is shake my head.

I should have told him. I should have taken him aside and let him know that his uncle can't hurt him anymore, to give him the peace he needs to have a calm sleep. Yes, he seems peaceful now, but how much more at peace could he be if he just only knew?

I will tell him when he wakes and let him know he is finally free.

**Emmett**

In my years of living within my own haunted house, I managed to perfect the art of waking up, all the while appearing to be still asleep to the unknown eye. It was a small mercy that sometimes worked - sometimes led my drunken uncle to believe that I was unwakeable, enough to leave me be for one night. It didn't always work, and sometimes I would still become the victim of his sick game. But, sometimes it did, and I am thankful for those times.

This time as I play possum I relish in the conversation between my two visitors, thankful I woke at the right time. My uncle has been caught, off the streets and now under the watchful eye of the law.

Carlisle knew, but forgot to tell me. I won't blame him and won't resent him at all. All I will do is what Nettie is doing. I will walk and show my uncle how he hasn't affected me, regardless of how he tried. I will do all I can to make sure I stand in the courtroom as my uncle is sentenced.

I will show him that he can hurt my body but not my soul, and I will show him this as I hold the hand of the man I love.

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**AN - thanks so much for reading, leave me a little love.**


	8. Crescendo of Emotions

**Thanks so much to my pre reader nmydreamz (who makes this all perfect for me), and my Beta Mrs. Agget.**

**I love this story as it is based on my very first FF as you all know, and if you didn't, you do now hehe.**

**As always, I do not own, only play.**

**Chapter Eight**

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**Emmett**

When I finally let Carlisle know I was awake, I encouraged him to go home. The guy looked beyond tired and I cannot honestly say when I last saw him close his eyes. As expected, he tried to say he was okay, and given that his sister had come to see me also, I didn't push him until I saw his eyelids falling over his eyes. Thankfully, Rosalie isn't as subtle as I am and she practically dragged him from my room, saying how she had a sale to get to.

And so I was alone!

What do you do when you're alone? Well, I overthink things.

Nettie had told me about a movie, one of hundreds she was shocked that I had never seen, about a woman called _The_ _Bride_, who sets out to kill a man called Bill after she wakes from a coma. In said film, _The Bride_ apparently forced her feet to move again by wiggling her big toe. Jasper was shocked that she had seen the movie that was supposed to be for over eighteens only, but my head was already wondering if the toe-theory would work.

The answer was simple. No. When I was finally alone, I spent almost an hour trying to force my toe to move, only for nothing to happen...other than filling the bag that they have attached to me via catheter, with my pee. I was more than a little frustrated, but a lot more embarrassed that I really assumed it could work.

Idiot!

With anger taking over from the embarrassment and frustration, I started to tap my thigh only to feel nothing from the touch of my fingers. Assuming I had hit it too gently, I repeated the motion, this time adding more force until my hand was literally slapping the thigh and making my palm sore. All I had managed to feel was my hand burning from the heat of my slaps. I felt nothing on my thigh: no pain, no pressure, nothing!

How the fuck am I ever going to stand before Uncle Charlie and show him, let him see all that I can do?

Am I really as worthless as he told me over and over, when he was invading my body?

I rest my head back against my pillow as I allow the tears to escape me - the tears of my frustration that burn down my face. Is this really all I will ever be, a man forever stuck in a chair?

A voice pulls my head towards the door, but the tears continue their descent. "Emmett, you okay?" Jasper asks, entering further into my room.

I wipe the tears from my eyes as I pull my gaze to the ceiling. "I feel...nothing! You could bite a chunk out of my leg and I wouldn't even know! How can I ever expect to walk again?" I don't sob. My voice doesn't break at all as I speak through my falling tears.

Jasper is at my side in seconds, his hand claiming mine within his while my other hand feels the absence of Carlisle. I pull my hand away from Jasper and lay it over my eyes so that I am surrounded in my own self-made darkness, my own little place of comfort that I used to go to when things got to be too much for me to handle. This is a place I can be as weak as I need to be, to give in to all that means to hurt me, without having to see another's eyes upon me.

"It won't always be like this, Emmett. I know you will walk again." His voice is gentle, full of a comforting warmth.

I don't want reassurance right now. Not from him, a stranger with a polite face. I want Carlisle back here. I want to bring him into my dark space and pull me from it, to lead me into the comfort of his arms.

I remove my arm from my face, look back at Jasper, and offer him a small smile as I ask him to leave. "Please, I just really need to be alone right now. I think I will sleep."

With a sad smile, he reluctantly turns his back on me and makes for the door while my eyes pull my broken body into sleep.

**Carlisle**

As exhausted as I was when I got in Rosalie's town car, I somehow found all of the tiredness leaving as I took a shower, eventually falling naked onto my bed. Here I lay, trying to find the need to sleep, only to toss and turn as I try to find the place I need to lay my head, the place that will take me to my slumber.

This would be so much easier if I had him in my arms. Sleep would be so much more welcoming if I had his body within mine. I close my eyes and think of him here, my smiling Emmett, lying next to me under the duvet. _Resting on the pillow beside me is the head of the most infectious man; his eyes are two of the most perfect, blue oceans, seas that I could sail away in until my heart beats its last._

I bite on my lip as I think of him, my hand giving away how I really feel as it leads the way happily towards my growing erection. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be thinking this way at all, yet my hand and cock disagree as they pull me towards climax.

As I work my hand against myself, my head is full of Emmett once more, but this isn't a normal lust filled fantasy that would fill my head as I masturbate, this is somehow more intense. As I become a victim of my lust, I imagine Emmett moving his body up mine, kissing every inch of my naked chest, his lips stopping for a few moments as his tongue comes into play over my nipple.

_Your body tastes amazing, Carlisle, _my cheap imitation of Emmett says, as I thrust harder at myself.

I should be ashamed for thinking of him as I do this, but my need for him is consuming me as I pull my body closer towards ejaculation.

_His lips are back on my body as he continues his journey, this time stopping at my neck as he gently chews the lobe of my ear._ My hand and cock assault each other forcefully as I lift my arse off the bed and my moans of delight fill my room.

_Cum for me, Carlisle. Show me how much you love me._ With his command, I let out a small scream as I cover my naked chest with beads of my crystal cream, my arse even further off the bed as more of myself escapes me.

After possibly the longest orgasm I have ever had from wanking, I collapse my body back onto my mattress, my apparition of Emmett still somehow beside me.

_Don't cry, Carlisle._ I never even knew tears had left my eyes until he spoke.

"I can't help it, I just want you here so much. I want to do what I just did to myself, with you." I say, watching Emmett play with my nipple. "I just want to love you."

Emmett smiled at me and gently kissed me on the cheek, causing my eyes to fall heavy, sleep finally taking me.

**Emmett**

"Feel anything there?" Dr. Masen asks, tapping a small, metal item against my shin.

I shake my head again, sighing heavily.

This is my first day of walking classes, as Nettie likes to call them. When I woke the following day, I was told that I was to meet with Dr. Masen and I would be learning to walk again. After my bandages were changed, being told my wounds were healing nicely, I was taken to meet with the man that Nettie hates.

Initially, I was shocked at just how young he was. The guy didn't seem to be out of his twenties, at all. He is tall, slim, and with perfect green eyes. I grinned nervously at just how much they reminded me of the Emerald City in _The_ _Wizard Of Oz. _His eyes are nice, I will admit, but not as nice as looking into the pale blue eyes of Carlisle's eyes that sparkle when he smiles.

"No, Emmett. This will not be an overnight success, so please stop sighing every time you feel nothing." His words are a bit more stern than I expected, and in some ways I find myself wondering if he is channeling Dr. Platt and her tough love approach.

"S...sorry," I say, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

He smiles before tapping my other leg. "You have much more of a chance of walking than most. Your spine is intact, you just have some muscle damage." He stands and smiles down at me. "How do you fancy some weight training?"

Looking up at him, I know I am failing miserably to keep the confusion from my eyes, regardless of the fact that he must know what he is talking about. He smiles again as he looks over at the small weight lifting area, a space already occupied by three other patients, all lifting and pulling weights.

"This isn't just about strengthening your legs. You also need to work on your upper body so that you have the strength to be able to tackle _that_." I follow his pointing finger with my eyes, only for them to settle upon Nettie.

The small girl seems to be slowly pulling her legs forward as she holds onto two hand rails at either side of her, both about three meters long, with Jasper following close behind her for support.

"That, my friend, is what I like to call the road to recovery. It's what you will need to be able to hold the weight of your body on, as you try and walk." I stare up at Dr. Masen, who seems to be more than a little proud of the apparatus. Or is it Nettie that he's proud of?

Clearing my throat, I find my voice. "So I just have to walk the length of that and I will be cured?"

Already I know it was a dumb question to ask, and I blush slightly at the doctor who is literally laughing at me. I frown slightly. Does he really think laughing at me will get me moving?

"Not an easy task, my friend, and one you will need upper body strength to be able to achieve." Dr. Masen walks over to the weights and offers me one, but how does he expect me to reach from way over here? He smiles at me before putting his free hand on his hip, a look in his eye that tells me he isn't going to bring it over to me.

He wants me to get myself over there!

Ever since I sat in this chair, I have allowed people to lead me to where they say I need to be and guide me in whatever direction they wanted. I just allowed it, never once taking control of the wheels myself. I have watched Nettie and others do this with apparent ease. Yet, as I take my hands to the cold metal bars I am to use to push the wheels forward, I feel uncertain of how to do this.

What if I push too hard and fall over?

Hearing Dr. Masen clear his throat, I do everything I can not to look in his direction, choosing instead to look at Nettie - who just reached the end of the bars and is congratulating herself. As I bask in her glory, I push my hands against the metal and motion my chair forward, trying to ignore the fear of crashing as I arrive at the weights. My breath is slightly strained from the small workout.

The doctor offers me a small smile. "That wasn't so hard, was it, Emmett?" He hands me the free weights before speaking again. "Pushing your chair around by yourself will aid in the upper body workout needed for you to start on the beams. Given your current frame, I think that you will probably be on them within a couple of days."

He squeezes my bicep, assuming I used to work out, rather than just having muscle tone naturally. I have never once gone to a gym and never really worked out at all, unless you count running away from bullies and my uncle; my frame is just one I inherited from my father.

"Now don't push yourself too hard, though. I am told your wounds are still healing, so just start with the small weights, and if you can manage them, we will move you up until you find a comfortable weight."

For the next hour, I practise with different sized weights until I find one that is right, my eyes forever on Nettie as I do the workouts that one of the personal trainers gave me after he went over my injuries with the doctor.

Even with the small pain of my wounds, the new pain of my unworked muscles is different somehow. I find that I love this feeling of working out, my mind delighting under the strain I put it through. If it feels so good working just the arms, then I can't wait to try the beams, get walking, and build up my whole body.

This is something I can, and will, take control of.

**Carlisle**

Do I look as ashamed as I feel?

As I pass every mirror, every reflective surface, I take a quick glance at my face, checking for any signs that might give me away. My shame is for what I did, the work I played over myself as I thought about Emmett. These are not thoughts I should be thinking, not when he is still recovering from his attack.

I make my way through the corridors towards his room, hoping that he will not see and that my eyes won't give me away. Yes, I want this to happen between us, but how dare I do that to myself while he suffers like this?

I look through the glass window of his room and smile as I see him enjoying his ice cream from the comfort of his bed, his tongue gliding over traces of cream left on his lips.

_Breathe Carlisle, just breathe!_ I tell myself, trying to stop the flow of blood rushing towards my groin. I don't need this here, not when he might see.

When I am happy that_ little_ Carlisle is very much asleep, I knock on the door and make my way into the room, His face seems to light up when he sees it's me.

I stand near the closing door, smiling back at his happy face before I manage to regain my control and speak. "I thought I could educate you," I offer him a small wink and make my way towards the bed.

Emmett looks confused as I sit down, his eyes never leaving my face, and I relish in the look he offers me. "Educate me?"

Taking his hand in mine, I look at it for a moment before foolishly kissing it gently. Feeling the blush invading my face, I place my bag on the bed. "I...well, I thought I would show you some movies you may have missed these past few years," I tell him, as I let go of his hands and take out the portable DVD and collection of movies to watch. "Maybe a little _Kill Bill_ to start." I remember the story Nettie told him, thinking this might show him what she meant after leaving him so confused.

"Carlisle..." He interrupts with a soft voice, pulling my head back to his. "Do it again...kiss my hand."

With my eyes locked onto his, ignoring the reddening of his cheeks, I bring his hand back up to my lips, kissing his knuckles gently for a few seconds before releasing them. Emmett gasps slightly at my touch before nervously moving his hand to the back of my head.

"Carlisle, can I...I mean, will you, erm..." Feeling the pull of his hand around my neck, I allow him to guide me towards his lips.

We stay there for a few moments, our lips just resting against one anothers as we taste each others breath, then I feel his lips move and I follow his lead. However unromantic the place of our kiss would appear to others, I cannot think of a better surrounding as I succumb to his lips, the taste of him, as our mouths waltz together. I fight back the want to have our tongues meet, to feel his warm muscle with mine. Fearing I may lose that control when my jeans start to tighten, I pull away gently.

Our eyes are back to looking into each others as I relax back into my seat, reclaiming his hand within mine as I try to adjust myself without being seen. "That was..." I start, only for him to steal my words from me.

"Perfect," he offers. No other word would fit so well.

As I rest his hand against my cheek, I look back onto the bed, my eyes resting on his dark blue pyjamas, before I lower my eyes down slightly to see something that wasn't there before. It's something I never expected to see...not here, not yet.

Fighting with the lust washing over me, I drag my eyes away from his growing groin, pulling my gaze back to his. "Erm...Emmett..." I say, and he smiles back at me, clearly unaware of what is happening downstairs.

As I nod my head towards the tent under his sheets, I try not to blush too much as his eyes rest upon where I directed them, only for them to widen in shock.

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**AN - What did you think? Leave me some love xxx**


	9. Patience and Prudence

**Chapter Nine**

**Title: Patience and Prudence**

**Well it has been a long time since I updated, and I am sorry to all my readers who like this, especially Jessa, who always sent me a PM to remind me to get it done. Big thanks to my pre reader and Beta, nmydreamz.**

**Really hope you like this update and I promise to keep at it. **

**All I own is plot, SM has the rest.**

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**Emmett**

Time is a funny thing, isn't is? Minutes, seconds and hours can slip through your fingers so quickly, when all we wish is for them to slow down to a snails pace. At other times, they drag along when all we want is for the the hands of the clock to speed beyond comprehension. It isn't our friend, not when it stands so willingly against us like a perfect enemy, forcing us to kneel before it; slaves to its passing. Here I am, laying against the body of hopeful love and wanting to turn away from the impending nightfall, when back to the hospital I must go.

I have worked so hard to be here now, relaxing against Carlisle without the unexpected arrival of a nurse or doctor; just the two of us. Who knew I could accomplish so much in four months? Me, the boy my uncle had called a piece of shit, worthy of nothing as he repeatedly beat me, abused my body in ways that should be left only for love. Yet here I am, with the man who wants to be with me, no longer afraid of the person who is now locked behind bars and hopefully rotting away in his _own_ hell.

From the second I realised that our kiss had blood rushing to my groin, I knew there was hope for us, feeling that I wasn't dead from the waist down like I had feared; only my legs. Emotions I had tried to keep locked within me seemed to all rush out at once while our lips tentatively met, his sweet breath unlocking the feelings I kept inside. It was that moment, that short encounter that gave me the fuel I needed to kick-start my recovery.

Ok, relax. Don't go thinking my story is over, that I am walking again, dancing through life with a man in my arms; I should be so lucky! Miracles only happen on TV, a place where magic is actually possible, although I _can_ take a few steps, ones that require as much energy as a thousand used to. I have moved on from the boy who never thought it would be possible again and one day I will be running, that is a promise I have made to myself; a goal I have set. Carlisle gave me what I needed with a single kiss, the reason I will accomplish what everyone said I could do, but my head refused to take note of. Encouragement and hope.

As the sheet over my body had fully tented, I knew just a kiss was not enough, that I needed more as hormones ran through me. He silently stood there, looking down at me while he panted, his hands clutching his shirt while a bulge was evident at his own groin. I could tell he was fighting his own urges, trying to maintain control, as I was struggling to do. Everything within me wanted to pull him onto the bed so he could show me how it feels to make love to a man, to feel something other than pain. My paralyzed legs kept my body in check, prevented my urges from taking over, and I quickly placed my hands over the area even though it was too late to hide my shame.

That night I thought over what had happened, how I'd managed to achieve something I thought was impossible, even touched myself in a way I had never done before. Disgust at the thought of sex with someone was leaving me as I focused on the memory of what had happened and the changes he had evoked within me. When I managed to become erect again, after only a few short minutes of work, I gazed at the stars in the night sky and I chose to fight, to follow in the footsteps of Nettie and so many others before her. I chose to win, to walk again.

My need to succeed has brought me here, back to a sofa with him beside me, sitting before a movie in something more than a hospital bed or wheelchair. I am so close to regaining control of a life I thought was lost at the hands of the man who should have been my protector, finding a strength inside that I never expected to have.

His hand moves in the darkness of his living room, fingers gently brushing against my own as the movie draws to its end. I don't shy away like I once would have, instead I snake our fingers together and squeeze firmly. This day _will_ end perfectly, the way I have dreamed it would. I have worked so hard to get here that I will have the night I have longed for. Even after so long, after all he has done for me, we are still so shy with each other, so reluctant to give into passion and desire like lovers do.

Are we lovers, or even boyfriends? Yes, he has been at my bedside through all this, even sent his sisters when he couldn't be with me himself. He has pulled me through the dark and into the light, but we have not done anything other than hold hands, like we are now. Have we left it too late, gone so long without the meeting of lips for it to be classed as anything more than friendship?

"Have you enjoyed today?" he asks, clicking the _off_ button on the remote before turning his body into mine without unlocking our hands. "Was it what you wanted?"

I stop myself from saying what my heart is singing, that I wanted nothing more than to spend the day with him, regardless of what we did. We could have just sat here all day and it still would have been perfect. Instead, I smile and answer him as best I can. "It was brilliant."

My reply was less than poetic, but the smile that lights up his face lets me know that I said what he wanted to hear. How could he not have expected me to enjoy the day he planned, the stroll in the park under the summer heat? Clearly he was the one walking and I allowed him to simply direct me, to the picnic on the hill. Everything was more than I could have hoped for, ending with us sitting in front of another dumb movie like we did before the attack. It was simply wonderful.

I know that my uncle won't be breaking down the door at any second, that he is locked away for the crimes he committed. The only thing that will ruin this day is the words I see lingering on his lips. _Don't say them, don't allow them to pollute the time we have both enjoyed!_

Gnawing at my lip, I curse the inhale he takes before he speaks words I never expected. "Have you thought about moving back into your own place? Esme found you something new, didn't she?"

The groan leaves my lips before I have a chance to stop it. Yes, I want to walk again, to have the chance of a normal relationship with Carlisle, if he wants me, of course...but can I face living alone again, fearing that every knock on my door could be Charlie? I know he is behind bars, but for how long?

My uncle got seven years for the devastation he put me through, such a short sentence for what I had to suffer when he got bored. I never went to the hearing, Dr Platt had declared me unfit to go while I recovered and so my evidence was given through a video recording. A small mercy, I don't think I could have spoken at all with him in such close proximity to where I would have been sitting in the courtroom. There is a fear inside me that he won't have to serve the full term of his sentence, that he will get out for good behavior. I would be lying if I said I didn't think about that while I am alone at night, when shadows dance in my room, all with the terrifying quality that is my uncle. Can I really leave the hospitals safety knowing how unguarded I will become, how emotionally alone I will be, even if Carlisle is committed to me?

"He isn't getting out, Emmett!" His words shock me, and I open the eyes I never knew I had closed.

I want to feed off the assurance he has in his voice, for belief to fill me, but how can I when I know that just when I relax enough to feel safe, Charlie will be there to ruin everything like he always does? For three days I thought I was safe, free from the clinic and my old life, only for _him_ to come and remind me he will always be there...waiting. "You...don't know that, nobody does," I say, before I have a chance to control myself and the tears that are falling.

This is a conversation I didn't want to have, a nagging thought that I wanted to keep lost at the back of my mind where it belongs, until I know how to deal with it. Why must this subject surface now and risk ruining this day that I have hoped for, for the past few months, the day I sweated in a gym for hours to get to?

Esme has indeed found me a new place, but thoughts of reclaiming my independence just seem imaginary to me; beyond my perception. For so long now I have either been in a broken home or one hospital or another, with only a three-day break between Dr Platts clinic and my current abode. Can I really see myself in a place that isn't manned by doctors and nurses? Do I have it within me to take care of myself without relying on someone else?

Carlisle takes my hand in his and gently squeezes, resulting in my lower lip trembling as I become lost in his eyes. "Even if he does, I will _never_ let him near you again! Believe me!"

I want to believe and I allow his words to settle in my head, echoing inside me as my whole body shakes, all attempts to speak leaving my lips fail. While thinking over what he just said I am not even aware he has moved his body towards mine, that his face is getting closer than it has since the night I decided I would have this day. It's only when our lips finally meet that I am brought back to the moment with a bittersweet thud.

**Carlisle**

I have allowed my emotions to get the better of me, the need to feel his mouth against mine, pulling me towards him like a moth dazzled by flames. Pros and cons didn't even enter into my mind, only the want to selfishly have our lips together again, after these last, lonely four months.

What has come over me that would have me breaking his trust so easily? Have I become just another sexual predator?

So patiently I sat talking to Emmett without impure thoughts entering my head even once, reassuring him that he is finally safe, and here I go breaking his confidence! While he processed my last sentence I just felt a pull that led me to where we are now, an urge to be closer to him. My kiss gently grazed his trembling lip, stilling it slightly, but he doesn't return my intrusion, simply leaves my mouth pressed against his. Shit!

_Fuck, shit, fuck! Move, Carlisle!_ The voice of a stranger shouts within my head, urging me to pull from him and apologise for forcing myself upon him, but I simply cannot move!

Like an idiot I remain in place, feeling his breath washing over my face, yet he doesn't push me away like I fear he should. I must have scared him, brought back harrowing memories of his uncle who repeatedly forced himself upon him._ Great! Nice work Carlise, abolish the past four months of recovery he has gone through by reminding him of what he is trying to forget! _

_Well done!_

What has happened to the Carlisle Cullen who didn't want to push Emmett, who only wanted to nurture him back to health? The one happy to wait on the sidelines until he says it's ok to move our bodies together?

I won't deny that I have not thought about the kiss we had in hospital so many moons ago, that moment we shared yet left unspoken until now, when I become an idiot and take him back to a place I am sure he never wanted to return. Regaining control of myself, I pull away from him only to be met with a restriction behind my head that will not let me pull back any further. Releasing a whimper I wasn't even aware I was holding in, I gaze into his crystal blue orbs, suddenly breathless.

The power of speech seems to have failed us both as we sit there just staring, then I feel the force of his hand pulling me back to the place I never really wanted to leave. My eyes remain open as I feel his lips merging with mine, his fingers becoming entangled in my short hair, only closing after his own. We both make tender movements, fighting the desire to become lost in lust and keeping our hands in appropriate places.

I want to use my fingers to explore his body, discover if he is tenting like he was in the hospital, but I remain the perfect gentleman and only follow his lead in an attempt to keep his confidence. His other hand moves up my clothed chest, making my body tremble under his touch and I match his movements, delighted when I feel him shudder slightly before deepening the kiss.

It takes all the control I have not to move my body on top of him and lower his own to the soft cushions of my sofa, to help him out of the restraints that are his clothing and have pleasurable heat rising within him as I kiss every inch of his naked chest. My jeans already feel two sizes too small as I start to become erect, only increasing when his tongue breaks between my lips, resulting in me forcing us apart.

Remaining seated, I simply pant my breaths while shaking my head at him with my fingers clutching at the cushions I am trying not to push him against. My heart aches when I see the worry in his beautiful eyes, his teeth chewing his lower lip that does nothing to ease the swelling in my groin.

"We shouldn't," is all I can say, regardless of how much I want to show him how it feels to make love.

Emmett wipes a small tear from his left eye, before offering me a small smile. "I can't help it... loving you, I mean! Does that sound...stupid to you?"

A blush emerges in his cheeks and he looks back at me shyly, that's when I reach over to take his hand in mine. "You...love me?" Mentally I slap myself for questioning him, especially when he speaks again.

"I do, I have tried not to, but I can't help it." My eyes widen in shock at his admission that he has tried to ignore his feelings, emotions that I have willed to leave dormant within myself until he is well again. "Please don't look sad, Carlisle. It's just...well...everyone I love leaves me."

He lowers his gaze and I reach up to take his chin gently in my hand, pulling his eyes back to mine, which are now looking through falling tears. "I never really knew love until I met you, Emmett." The words that leave my lips seem alien somehow, like I am speaking words of truth I never knew I had within me.

I have had relationships before I met Emmett, even thought that I loved my ex, Embry, but _nothing_ ever felt like how I feel now. When I found him in a bloody mess I felt myself dying along with him, my soul being ripped from my body as I counted down the hours until I knew he was ok. Even now, with him sitting so close to me, declaring his love, I worry I may be dreaming; looking through a window into a life that isn't my own.

Am I even worthy of his love, to keep him as _mine,_ like a butterfly trapped in a jar, when he could be flying through a life he should be living rather than settling with little old me? Unlike myself, he has never seen the world for the beauty it has to offer, only forced into the darkness that lurks in its corners. He should be spreading his wings and journeying through the labyrinth of cities, not agreeing to remain with just me.

"Carlisle?" His words are like the calls of Sirens, my attention brought back to him while my body longs to crash against his like waves against rocks. "Are you okay?"

I nod, even though my words betray me. "No...I mean, yes. Shit!"

He looks at me with confusion clear in his face. "I...don't understand."

How could he, when the signals I am sending are confusing even myself? "Sorry, I guess I want nothing more than for you to love me because I love you, I do! But when I think of how much you have not seen, not lived, how can I ask you to settle with just me when you may regret all the time you have lost?"

Laughter fills my living room, his head falling backwards before he looks back at me again. I wonder if the hurt I am feeling is evident within my face?

"Carlisle, what will I miss exactly? Everything you tell me I should experience will only seem less perfect without you there next to me, to show me the way to see life, the way to love life as much as I know I love you," he smiles at me for a second before speaking again. "I wouldn't even have a life to live if it wasn't for you."

His words mean everything to me, like he is singing my favorite song, speaking the most perfect poetry that is only intended for my ears. I move my mouth towards his, but he presses his fingers over my lips, shaking his head.

"You don't get to kiss me, Carlisle." I am taken aback, but I remain silent from shock while he explains. "Not until we are together in...in your bed."

While staring at him with my jaw hanging open, I am already mentally helping him into his wheelchair and leading him towards the bedroom.

I just really hope I don't hurt him like others have.

All I want to show him is how love should really feel.

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**AN - Leave me some love while I go think up the appropriate lemon for these two x**


	10. Facing Fears

**Chapter 10.**

**Hey guys, I really hope you like this chapter and can feel all I want you to feel, sense all that Emmett is sensing. Basically I hope you love it as much as I did writing.**

**Thanks to my pre reader and beta nmydreamz who is amazing as always.**

**As always, I own only plot.**

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**Emmett**

I didn't want to be wheeled like a baby, not when I want to show him all I could do, all I have achieved so far; even if it _is_ like carrying three times my own weight around. Our pace is slow and he keeps looking back to check I am ok, fearing I could fall at any moment, but my determination is keeping my path true. As long as it holds out.

With each step I take through his small hallway I have to keep reminding myself that I want this, that hiding behind the closed door of his bedroom isn't Uncle Charlie waiting to pounce; this isn't all just some sick game he and Carlisle want to play. Walking two steps behind the man I hope loves me as much as he makes me feel he does, I allow him to guide me towards the place I have thought about for so long. A room that to others is for sleep, to hold a loved one closely after making love; yet to me**,** is always consumed by nightmares.

As if he is able to read my mind he squeezes my hand gently, stopping at the entrance to his room so that he can look me in the eye and offer me a smile that has my whole body vibrating with the beat of my heart. I am torn between excitement and terror all at once, but when I feel his fingers gently caress my cheeks I can feel what little confidence I have growing, expanding within.

"You don't have to do this, Emmett. You know that, don't you?" His face is somber, his voice just above a whisper. Its almost as if he is worried that if he speaks too loudly, or looks at me in the wrong way, that I will crumble before him; a mess of my emotions.

Leaning against the wall for some much needed support, I take his other hand in mine, leading his body towards me so that our tummies are touching. I can feel his abdomen rising and falling with each breath he takes, even feel the pounding of his heart that is mere inches from my own. "I want to, I am just..."

"Scared shitless?" he interrupts, a small laugh breaking through his words and giving away his own shaking nerves.

Am I scared shitless, even knowing that he is so unlike my aunt and uncle? Of course I am, the thought of getting intimate with anyone is making me want to run to the bathroom and empty my stomach into the toilet. I know Carlisle isn't going to use me, to force me into anything I am not ready for, but fears I hoped to keep buried inside are rearing their ugly head.

Will I ever be able to close my eyes and see something other than Charlie standing over me?

"A little bit**,**" I try to joke, knowing I have remained too long in my head without speaking, long enough for him to raise a questionable eyebrow.

He offers me a smile again before gently pulling me into his embrace, I just wish I could stop my body from freezing, giving me away! As he locked me within his love, all I hear, all I feel, is the sounds of my fathers brother in my mind.

_Time to take it like the fucking slut you are!_ Those bitter words that were screamed my way on more than one occasion try to consume me, but in an attempt to ignore them I pull myself further into his body, to let him know that I am, in fact, okay.

I want more than anything for him to know that I am ready to know love, _his love,_ I just wish I knew what to do. He pushes the door open and leads me towards a chair in his room, seating me in place so I can enjoy the relief washing over me. Sweat has formed on my brow and he wipes it away before kissing me softly on the cheek.

"You look exhausted, you should have let me wheel you in here," he says, traces of worry fogging in his eyes and forcing his lips from the smile they were once holding.

Staring into his beautiful orbs and keeping my view from his bed, I try to reassure him I am okay with a simple joke to lighten the mood. "What do you think I am, meals on wheels?"

Silence! I never really was very good at making people laugh, not when my very existence was a joke to my aunt and uncle.

Relief washes over me when he leans in to offer me a kiss, one that naturally draws my eyes to a close as I succumb to him. That's when I see a face flash inside the darkness, the cold familiar snarl of Charlie that has my body jolting. In a bid to hide my reaction I take his face in my hands, feel the smoothness of his cheeks within my palms. His face calms me, chases away the shadows that want to cloak over me, fill me with misery.

He can't keep the concern from his eyes as he looks at me, his hands resting on my knees. "Are you sure you're okay, Emmett?"

I don't even try to find the words in which to reply, instead I delight in the feeling of his fingers on my legs, a sensation I thought I would never have the pleasure of knowing again. My smile gives away that he is doing no wrong, so I remain in my silence as I enjoy the pressure he has upon me, a small force that even has a tickling reaction.

"Emmett?"

Even though I know I should reply to him I don't, instead I pull my head to the ceiling and marvel under his touch. Blood is rushing to my groin, I can feel its flow towards my erection, but I don't try to hide it. Instead,I lead one of his hands to lay its rest upon it. Instantly I feel his hesitation, his instinct to pull away and be the gentleman he should, but I don't want that, not now. Not when I am becoming someone I never thought I could be.

I want to feel...alive!

Using my hand to keep his in place, I allow words to dance from my lips, to cast a spell upon him with a power I only wish I possessed. "Touch me, Carlisle. Show me!"

I don't have to elaborate, don't even need the beg that I know I hold within my words, all I have to do is allow him to take control of me. As he pulls me to my feet I feel weightless and literally float over to the bed that, only a few seconds ago, I found so hard to look at, a lung full of air escaping me as I am lowered onto the soft mattress. Like I am apart of some romance novel, I allow myself to believe he is laying me into a field of daisies with rays of summer beaming down upon us; blessing our love. Slowly, he moves up my body without saying a word, and as he looks into my eyes with a shining light flashing within them, I still find myself hoping this is actually love and not the control I am so used to having forced upon me when joined on a bed with another.

His fingers feel like the silk fabric of my mothers scarves as he moves hair behind my ears, but he does nothing more than hover above me as if he is waiting for an invitation. This is Carlisle Cullen, the man who has not left my side in months, yet my words lodge in my throat and fail to leave my lips.

I want to have the power of a siren, to call to him and pull his lips to mine, to dance our naked bodies together, but I can't. No matter how much I want him, to feel him, to love him, I cannot keep the shadows from creeping towards me. Even while trying to lose myself within his face, all I can see are small traces of darkness starting to loiter around us, polluting the space that should be full of our love.

He sighs, yet there is no disappointment in his eyes and he is smiling like I have done no wrong; like I have not wasted his time even though I feel I have. "It's okay not to want this, to not be ready. You know that, don't you?"

I nod only once before pulling his body into mine, to hold him in my arms and hide the tears that are wanting to break free from the confines of my eyes.

_I'm sorry, Carlisle. I want to make love to you, I do. It's just so hard._ The words remain in my head, squatting there against my will rather than entering into the silence of the room.

My eyes sting, but I won't let the tears come. I won't keep crying in bedrooms, fearing the smell of unwanted sex upon my body; I won't allow myself to be constantly consumed by my dark past. Not when all I want is to live, to love.

Carlisle doesn't speak, simply remains beside me without forcing his will, bending me over for his own pleasure. The only thing he does is increase the hug he has me locked within, a small grace of his lips against my cheek. It lingers against me long enough for me to turn my head and willingly pull them towards my mouth as I guide his hand back to my now-soft cock.

He sits up with a start, shaking his head down at me like I had just broken an unwritten rule. "No, Emmett! I won't force you into something you're not ready for."

His words could have just remained locked in his head and I would have still believed him, still found myself keeping his hand locked in place between my legs. I know his intentions are honorable. "Please, Carlisle. I am ready, I really am. Please show me."

"Show you what?" he replies, his fingers gently locking around my hardening length, causing my body to shudder under the pleasure of his touch.

"How it feels...to be loved." I bite my lower lip, which results in making him smile as he leans in for another kiss.

Deepening the meeting of our mouths, I use my arm to draw his body closer, laughing a little as I feel his tongue trying to break its way inside me, which I of course allow. His warm muscle glides against mine and chases away the memory of Charlie's, circles its way around tentatively like I am some delicate flower that needs nurturing.

As if I mind! The gentleness of every second that passes is something I have hoped for, for so long, yet somehow it seems even more perfect, better than I could ever imagine. Like I wanted, our clothed bodies dance against each other like only lovers should, but I want the routine to go to the next level of skin on skin. He removes his soft grip around my cock, but I don't get time to even whimper into his mouth because he draws our groins together and I can feel the firmness of his own length against mine.

Lowering my hand down his body, I linger at the hem of his jeans for a second before moving them over his arse and feeling his erection bang against my navel that has become uncovered since we entered our embrace. A warm liquid lingers against my skin and I know he is as aroused as I am, I can feel it as I lock my fingers around his girth. His groans sing with my own.

My grip remains strong as he helps me out of my own jeans the way I did him, his own hand circling around my willing member. Our lips never leave the others as we each begin to move our palms down each others lengths, Carlisle following my lead like he is making sure I don't allow him to go to far.

I want him to though, I want him to move his cock inside me and become a welcomed love, not an intruder of lust. With that in mind I finally break our kiss, moving my head back to look in his eyes for a second before I pull my shirt over my head and smile as he again follows my direction. My heart is racing so much that when he glides his hand up my now naked and heavily scarred chest, it feels like I am having a heart attack. Every cell in my body is charging through me like bolts of lightning, a storm of emotions raging through me.

My body doesn't freeze like I thought it would when Carlisle forgets himself and straddles his body over mine, pausing when he realises what he is doing and checks if I am okay with his attack. Keeping my eyes locked with his, I move my hands up his thighs realising only then that he is naked, his sweet arse cheekst resting against the tip of my throbbing cock.

His lips move to form his sorry, but before he has a chance I use my left hand to pull his mouth back to mine while my right hand works his cock. He glides his arse up and down my erection, causing my head to try and pull my mind back into the darkness I will always fight to keep at bay.

_Dirty fucker! You like that, don't you, little fucker?_ Charlie's laughter echoes in my head, and I force my eyes to close tightly while I hold onto Carlisle's body.

_Go away!_ I say into the darkness of my mind. _You won't ruin this. You won't keep haunting me!_

My uncles sinister chuckling fades into the distance as Carlisle's lips move down my cheek, over my neck and descends my chest as he makes his journey towards all I hope I can give him. I can feel traces of movement on my legs as he removes my final clothes and leaves me naked below him for seconds before I hear him speak.

"Can I?" he asks, pulling my eyes towards him and my erection that is back in his hand. "I will be gentle, I just want...to taste you."

I knew it would be different with Carlisle, that he would be ever the gentleman, but I still find myself smiling when he asks for permission; something that was so alien to me a few years back. Reaching down to his hand that is rested against my hip, I take it in mine before nodding and watching as he tightens the hold we share before kissing the tip of my cock and drawing a small moan of pleasure from my lips.

Lowering my head back onto the bed, I keep our fingers entwined as my cock is lost in my lovers mouth, his tongue constantly moving as he remains firm, but gentle. I can feel his free hand still working me and I know how easily I want to cum, to give into what is called love making, but all I can do is squeeze his hand tighter. He must be able to sense that I am less than comfortable, because he is moving back up my body within seconds, our hands never parting.

"Do you want me to stop? We have already gone further than I could hope for." His words, as always, are true, heart felt.

I cannot deny that I do want him to stop, for him to pull me into his chest and hold me, but there is a part of me that is telling me that if I do stop now, then I will never move forward with my life. If I don't allow myself to feel love and to show another how I love them, then I will always be carrying around my shame, kneeling before the mercy of unhappy memories.

That is something I cannot allow!

"Will you...make love to me?" my voice is small, but I force myself to sound confident. "I want to feel you inside me, Carlisle. I want you, no matter what, to show me...love."

While looking down at me with worry in his face, the question I can somehow sense is on the tip of his tongue breaks through his lips. "It may...hurt. I don't want to hurt you."

As if he ever could, nobody could hurt me the way _they_ did the last night I was at home before I tried to kill myself, when I thought my whole body was going to split from the burning fire within me. Carlisle knows what I lived through, but knowing something, and living through that something are two different things. You can read about pain, but you can never feel that pain until you are its slave.

"You could _never_ hurt me, Carlisle." I tell him, even smiling a little to disguise the fear eating within me.

He doesn't look convinced. "You're sure?"

I nod and lay back on the bed, my eyes following as he moves across his room to a small drawer to collect some items. When he returns I find myself looking towards his groin, my jaw hanging slightly at the size of his cock which is at least an inch bigger than my own eight.

Shit!

Looking back to the ceiling I wait until his is hovering over me again, a small condom packet between his teeth that he prises open and lowers the contents out of my sight. We don't speak as he opens a small bottle and covers his fingers in lube before they too disappear from my view and find their way between the cheeks of my arse. He doesn't break my seal, doesn't force his way forward like my past expects, he just keeps his eyes on me waiting for my approval.

I nod.

The coldness of his touch gently enters within me and I cannot keep the whimper from my lips, a sound that has him freezing in place before he tries to remove himself. I reach down to stop him, smiling as I guide his hand back to the place I want him while gnawing on my lower lip. Sensing my agreement he begins again, his fingers taking me towards the first stage of our love making; the next step in our relationship. He moves his lips back to mine as his touch moves within me, feels me in a way I never thought possible, a way I have only heard in whispers from nurses at the hospital talking about their boyfriends when they thought I was sleeping.

Am I about to have what they talked about?

My head snaps back when he touches something inside, that tender spot I tried to ignore when my uncle played his disgusting game, yet here I was liking it; loving it even. While Carlisle kisses my neck I take hold of his cock and guide it towards my arse, to relieve his fingers from their work so he can finally have me the way I want, the way I need. He hesitates for a moment as he moves between my thighs and rests the head of his cock at my entrance, one final look before he moves inside me.

It's then I feel it...love.

Finally.

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**AN - Wow, a whole chapter in one POV, but Emmett just wouldn't shut up which I assume is a good thing?**

**Carlisle's turn next. xxx**


	11. The Sweetest Gift Of All

**Well its been a busy holiday season, but I am back to writing. Carlisle wanted to talk and I know you all need to hear from him as much as I needed to get it all down.**

**It is FREEZING here in Leeds with the snow, so get cozy and enjoy all I have to give this time.**

**Thanks to my pre reader and beta nmydreamz.**

**I own only plot.**

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**Carlisle**

Is he porcelain, made of glass, or some other delicate material? The man below me is fragile, and I fear him crumbling under even my slightest touch. Hovering my body above Emmett, I try to apply as little pressure as possible while I prepare to enter him; to let him see how my heart beats a song in his name. His eyes are open wide, locked with mine as he readies himself for my loving intrusion.

My bed isn't shy to the visitors of men, but even when I thought I was in love before, it isn't until this moment I realise I have never truly understood what the word really meant. Embry and I had strong feelings for each other, yes, but our careers were evidence to the fact of just how weak our passions actually were. With Emmett it's different, I can already see which side of the bed will be forever his as I lay my head beside him, before we go to sleep. My runaway thoughts are planning out our lives, the children we will choose to call our own; of course we will adopt, and bring our new baby into our happy home.

I am allowing myself to run away into my unknown future, but I don't care, I want to give in to a fantasy I hope will come to fruition.

A glow of light dances over his perfection and I glide my hand gently up his chest, my fingers examining every single scar of his past; marks I refuse to allow to tarnish his exquisite soul. He trembles, but he doesn't pull away; it's me who freezes in place at the small sound of his whimper.

A pause hovers between us before he speaks, breaking the silence before it can become uncomfortable. "Carlisle?"

"Emmett...I!" I find myself saying as my heart pounds inside me, fighting with my want to be within him.

The tips of his fingers press against my lips, silencing further words before he reaches behind my head and leads us into a kiss. I can taste his breath mixing with my own and it makes my cock throb, stiffening harder than I have ever felt it before. Closing my eyes I know I am becoming lost in the moment because, to my knowledge, nothing has ever felt like this, and if I am truly losing myself, I never want to be found; unless I am to be discovered lying naked against the body of my lover.

I journey my tongue to meet with his, gliding it against his warm muscle as I tentatively slide my fingers down his back, between the cheeks of his arse and allow only one to enter into the warmth of his ring. Emmett shudders under my touch again, but a slow-building passion which is running through us tells me he is okay, showing me he will not think of me as one of those sick bastards who claimed his body as their own. I listen to the sound of his breath deepening, signaling to me I am doing no wrong.

Making sure I do not exceed two fingers, I try to massage the place inside him I know has never been treated the way I intend, never been pulled into sweet delirium. He arches his back as if he is answering my silent command, his grip now on my shoulders, intensifying the small sting where his nails have begun to dig in. I don't mind though, I can take a small amount of pain after all he has gone through.

Emmett's breath turned to groans. Small beads of sweat are starting to make their way over his chest and I catch them with my tongue, tasting his delicious salt like it is the most perfect ambrosia, while smiling at the perfectly orchestrated sounds leaving his lungs. I am the musician, playing him like I am the master of his instrument, the conductor to the orchestra I am leading.

I love him!

This I know to be true as I trail my kisses down his body, leaving my own loving marks upon him before licking from navel to nape, never once ignoring the notes I am creating with my fingers housed inside him. There is something else I should be pressing against these keys, I want nothing more than to feel my cock locked within the tightness of his most precious ring, yet I realise I am holding back. I may be lying to myself, but my groin is giving away the fact I want to make love to him. I just can't seem to stop myself from prolonging what I am doing, rather than engaging any other aspect of our sex. I don't want to risk hurting him, to pull back memories he may never want to resurface again.

My free arm betrays me by pulling one of his legs around my waist, and when I feel his small attempt to tighten his hold I am reminded of where he once was, and where he is now. The Emmett I knew as the frightened boy covered in rain and painful bruises is not the man who is trying to circle his hips around my cock, the one who has proved to himself and me, he will achieve all he sets his mind to and live the life _he_ chooses! Even though it is _he_ who has suffered through all of this, it is _I_ who is now too terrified to take loves ultimate step.

"Car...lisle," his moan enter through my right ear, followed closely by his breath and tongue which glides over my lobe, trying to bewitch me. His hand moves down my back and lingers just above my arse cheeks, before gripping firmly. "It's okay, I trust you."

Of course he does, I have done all I can to show him how much I really care, but do I really trust myself? Won't I become just another man fueled by desire, blinded by wants and urges, enough to force him to do my pleasing?

Pulling my head to look down at him so our eyes are locked together, I see what my heart needs, those perfect aqua opals gazing my way and filled with only one thing; love. He bites his lower lip as I remove my fingers from him, but we never break our connection until his mouth closes and I finally make my entrance.

Within seconds I can see blue shining up at me again as I push myself inside, my whole body pulsing with delight as I go as far as I am able. I remain there, not moving even a millimeter while I read his face like my favorite book. His features are without pain or unease, only shining with his own passion and pleasure while his damp hair clings to his brow. Wiping it away so I can see every perfect inch, I remain forever motionless as I smile down at him, feeling his own firmness sandwiched between our tummies and not caring about time passing around us.

"I love you, Emmett." I tell him, assuming I am not as easy to read as he is for me. He just smiles and offers his affirmation before telling me what I will never get bored of hearing.

"I love you too, Carlisle." His hand settles on my cheek and caresses it lovingly before he speaks again. "But will you move, I mean...fuck me...I guess...need you to...close to...bursting!"

His words are in disarray when they break from his lips as he tries in vain to form an audible sentence, but his pre cum, which is oozing between us, and the deepening of his breath tells me he is already close to, reaching the sweet end of our sex after only a few, short seconds. He groans as I start to dance my hips, gently making my love to him as he snaps his head back. His hands return to gripping my arse cheeks where he keeps his hold, fearing he may fall off as we find our intimate pace, journeying together towards our passionate end. I want to lose myself in the moment and pick up a lust-filled speed, but I know I can't have him the way I am used to; not yet, not without his permission.

Like the perfect gentleman I remain in control, keeping every movement firm, but tender enough so he won't be crying out my name in any way other than euphorically. His brow wrinkles as his eyes close, his open mouth singing out the most perfect tunes as I take him towards his release. He isn't the only one who is close, the tightness of his rose bud arse is drawing me towards my own orgasm and shamefully sooner than I would have hoped, considering this is our first time! I don't really mind though, not when I finally have what I have wanted for so long; what I feared might never be mine.

Even in my dreams and private self-loving it has never been this good, every stroke I made with my hand and imagined in my head as I thought of Emmett is just a cheap copy of what I have now; something I hope to have for the rest of my days. I pull my hips back so only the head of my cock is still inside him before I travel into him again, gripping the sheets below us to keep from losing my control; long enough for me to explode all I have held inside me, never truly being able to feel that perfect release you find with the right companion. Screaming out as I fill the condom, I marvel at the warmth shooting up my chest as he joins me in my climax, my name leaving his lips in waves of deep breaths before I collapse upon him, my body somehow spent.

How could sweet seconds have me so tired? I want to allow my mind to wonder if this is the effect real love has upon a person, but I chase the thoughts away and stay in the moment, remaining where I fell with my face in his neck. He runs his fingers through my hair causing uncontrollable chuckles to leave my lips, but he just tightens our embrace and helps me feel the love I know he has, for only me.

I don't pull out from him even though I can feel myself softening, I just stay where we are, dressed in only our perspiration and cum. This is all I want to wear, all I want to have upon my naked body, forever more.

We don't speak, our hands doing all the talking as we entwine our fingers and bless each other with small kisses. There we remain as the room starts to dim and the air cools, before our eyes fall heavy and we are led into sleep.

Waking after empty dreams, I smile when I realise we are still locked in our loving snuggle, a small trail of drool making its journey down his cheek. I should be a little sad I have slept so soundly without Emmett's face ever present in my slumber, but having him here when I open my eyes is like receiving an unexpected reward and helps me forget my lonely eight hours.

The darkness within my mind as I lay my head down at night will be something I will never mind, as long as I know when I rise the next day, I will see the morning dimples in his cheeks.

Day is breaking through the open curtains with rain violently hitting the windows to let me know a storm is brewing outside, but, thanks to the timer on my central heating, I don't feel the cold; something which could also be attributed to the naked man-mountain who is holding onto me like a teddy bear. With thoughts of him bringing a smile to my face I know I don't want to move, to remain here and hear nothing but the beat of his heart within his chest and the tapping of Mother Nature against the window. I trail my fingers over his scars while cursing my weak bladder, groaning to myself because I know I have no other choice than to go and relieve myself.

Grudgingly pulling my body from the bed with as much care as I can so not to rouse him, I creep from the room and into my en suite to ease the ache in my groin; finally pulling the condom free, which was still wrapped around my cock, and binning it after tying a knot in the end. A smile is stretched across my face like all my Christmases have come at once, while my chest is still sticky in parts where his cum exploded. Fingering it for a few seconds, I allow myself a moment in my head to remember last night, how it felt to finally have him; regardless of how short the experience was.

I wish I could wear him all day, to have his cum remain upon me rather than worry about wiping it up, but even I know that sounds more than a little wrong! Instead of jumping in the shower so he can only see me my fresh, clean self, I decide to pour us both a bath so we can be cleansed together, to bathe in each others bathwater like the _No Doubt_ song, which springs into my head out of nowhere. With the warm liquid filling the tub I add some bubble bath and light a few candles, regardless of the fact it's only just turned morning, before leaving the room and making my way back to where he still rests.

Emmett is no longer the sleeping beauty I left. Instead, he has pulled his naked body to sit against the head of the bed while still basking in all his glory. He blushes when he sees me and makes to cover his cock with his hand, before realising he isn't the only one still in their birthday suit; not to mention the fact we made each other cum less than nine hours ago. His coyness is somehow strangely alluring and I can feel my groin twitch slightly.

Leaning against the door frame I smile at the handsomeness laying on my now sex-soiled sheets, trying to keep my cock from firming while memories of his arse around my length try to tease me. "Good morning," I offer, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks as I make my way towards him. "Thought we could take a bath, clean ourselves up a little."

He reaches up and takes my offered hand within his and I help him come to standing, my breath hitching in my throat for a second when his semi-hard cock bounces against my own. "S...sorry." He says, looking slightly embarrassed while grinning and revealing all his dimples.

I'm not sorry, but instead of telling him, I take his muscle in my hand and stroke it gently, pulling his lips to mine before wrapping my arm around his waist and leading him towards the bathroom. I want to have myself inside him again, to draw forth his arousal and scream our words of love, but I don't want to rush him again too soon; I just want to use my single touch to let him know he should never be sorry. For now, I will be more than happy with him beside me in warm water.

The bath is already half filled and Emmett allows me to direct him into the tub, only speaking when he lays within the bubbles. "Forgot how good a bath can feel...outside a hospital, I mean." He smiles at me while soaping up his chest, his eyes lingering on my cock for a second before he corrects himself.

"Thought you might like this," I say, turning off the tap before finally stepping in myself near his feet, thankful I chose to get the larger bath Alice insisted was not too big for my flat; I make a mental note to thank her later.

He keeps his eyes on mine, but we remain in silence, just looking over at one another while sending small smiles. Taking his foot in my hand I gently massage it, smiling when he laughs. I tickle the sole, before I compel his eyes to disappear into his head while moans leave his lips as I place his big toe in my mouth and firmly suck it.

This is how days should be started, each of us washing away our sex so we can make space for plenty more.

**Emmett**

I remain silent as we lay in the bubbles of warm water, my head still processing the fact he has left his own mark upon me; momentarily stilling all those horrors which have haunted my years. Even now, after a full nights sleep, I can still feel him within me, my arse still tingles where he was once gliding every inch he had to offer inside me. Unlike my uncle, who stole all which was mine to give and caused me pain, Carlisle treats me like I am nothing less than someone who should be only loved and feel love in return.

Am I upset my past is lingering in my head while he moves to lay his back into my chest? Not at all, because to me, this is my first time and is slowly replacing those vengeful memories. I made a choice to give myself to Carlisle, and although it hurt like hell, I have no regrets. The pain was exquisite, a heat-filled throbbing which made me want to scream out in both passion and anguish. Nobody ever told me the two would work so perfectly together.

His head is resting on my shoulder with his eyes closed and a happy smile on his face, his body relaxed in equal bliss to my own. This is how happy we should be, together like this, always. I still have demons that wish to haunt me, but somehow I know he will be the guarding light I need to see me through any storm.

Steam floats from us to the ceiling, creating patterns before my eyes like silver lined clouds. This really could be our very own man-made heaven, where our dreams meet with modern times as we bathe together in both love and water. If not heaven, then I do believe this is close to my utopia, a place I really want to belong.

Carlisle shifts as I move bubbles up his beautiful torso before kissing his cheek, small sounds leaving his lips are clearly moans of content and bring shivers of delight rushing through my body.

"What would you like to do today?" He asks, pulling his arm behind my head and fingering my hair.

Could I really ask for anything more than I already have right here, lovers laying in a warm pool with the woes of life locked outside where they should remain?

I know I should be heading back to hospital, preparing to move into my own flat, but I just want to remain here, holding onto him. "Is it bad if I say I want to go back to bed and hold you until morning comes again?"

His laughter echoes through the large room, but his kisses still linger on my cheeks as his grip tightens around my head.

Somehow I know this is his silent agreement.

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**AN - really hope this was worth waiting for. Leave me some love**


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